I have a running daydream about winning an Oscar and giving my speech about how ridiculous it is to rank art. And then I'd call them all sycophants and leave the statue at the podium as I walked away.
— Ari Shaffir
I grew up so conservative. I grew up as an orthodox Jew.
I think you're a comedian as soon as you start. I don't think there's a moment where you become a full comic.
Get out of people's way and let them be who they are. If they make a mistake, fine, that's on them.
Being Jewish is a culture and a religion; we have food, music, and land specific to us.
I got an award for Most Improved Player for volleyball in tenth grade that I cared about a lot.
I'm like an overgrown child! I don't know how to do anything!
I get lost a lot.
My CD, my first release, was at the Comedy Works in Denver, one of the best clubs in the country.
I'm a cultural Jew, I was raised with it, so I'm still into it, like gefilte fish with kugel.
I don't vote and I don't follow who's trying to rule us. The revolution is coming. Until then, I'll just watch 'Game of Thrones.'
I lived with my parents until I was 25.
I want to do a travel book.
One thing I hate in ethnic comedy is giving the audience the opportunity to laugh in a racist way at a thing. A lot of times dwarf comedians will do that, Arab comics, and gay comics will do it; everyone is laughing, but they're not laughing at the joke, they're laughing at this crazy character.
Leonard Cohen kept his Jew name. He's so cool. It's too bad he died.
