I've worn down America.
— Billy Crystal
I was raised mostly by my mom.
I went to my first game May 30, 1956, and Mantle was in the beginnings of his Triple Crown season. And he was drop-dead handsome.
That whole concept of 'I want to really go after people' - I don't understand that. Is it a roast, or is it an awards show?
I still don't love the darkness, though I've learned to smile in it a little bit, now and then.
That's still the greatest high, that feeling of being in control of 2,000 people. It's me and them, and I like the odds. It's not even so much the funny. It's getting them quiet. In the quiet moments in '700 Sundays,' I just really love that they're getting moved.
I was always looking for something else to do most of the time, until I got into the acting program. Then, I really found myself.
When I was growing up in the house, we'd watch the Oscars.
I never stopped believing in us, and I never felt like I was wanting for anything, except for my father, and that was not going to be.
Whatever it is that's bothering me - interacting with annoying guy at a restaurant, contemplating my age, or losing friends to illness - I'll start to chip away at it. If you can poke holes in it, it's not as formidable; it's not as scary, and ultimately, it becomes another truth.
To me, little Mike Wazowski is one of the best characters I ever got to play because he was funny. He was outrageous. He got angry. He was romantic. He was a full, well-rounded character.
I could always improvise. Some of my teachers remember me standing in front of the class with a flower on my head, talking about photosynthesis. I'd stop and say, 'Is this working for any of you?' The kids were like, 'What is he doing?'
'Parental Guidance' combines comedy and pathos in the best way.
Doing my Broadway show '700 Sundays' reminded me how much I love working in front of an audience.
Only once in a thousand years or so do we get to hear a Mozart or see a Picasso or read a Shakespeare. Ali was one of them, and yet at his heart, he was still a kid from Louisville who ran with the gods and walked with the crippled and smiled at the foolishness of it all.
My dad, Jack, had a great sense of humour and had a strong impact on me and my humour.
I'm going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
The Academy and the Oscars have been very gracious to me.
My dad died when I was 15 and worked way too much.
I never missed a birthday. I never missed a school play. We carpooled. And the greatest compliment I can ever get is not about my career or performance or anything; it's when people say, 'You know, your girls are great.' That's the real thing for me.
As a comedian, you have everything working against you.
My Aunt Sheila was terrifying! She would put a napkin in her mouth and say, 'You've got something on your face, dear. Let me just scratch that off your face. Let me sand your cheek.'
We're seeing this disintegration of the family movie into these blockbuster things that kids should not be exposed to with explosions, carnage and violence.
I'm almost shocked that I'm still around after all of these years... and always grateful that I get another turn to do something.
I'd stand on a coffee table, and my cousin Edith would give me dimes, and you put the dimes on your head... And when your forehead was full, show was over.
My older brother Joel became an art teacher; my brother Rip ultimately became a television producer and singer and actor himself.
When I'm not thrilled, I get funny.
I was a per diem floater in the same junior high school I went to. I sat in the office and made $42.50 a day, and whenever a teacher was absent, I'd substitute. I taught everything from English to auto shop.
My dad had two, sometimes three jobs. Besides running the Commodore Music Shop in Manhattan, he did jazz concerts, and he ran this great jazz label, Commodore.
Believe me, happiness is not ticking off Walter Cronkite.
Nothing takes the sting out of these tough economic times like watching a bunch of millionaires giving golden statues to each other.
Muhammad Ali struck us in the middle of America's darkest night, in the heart of its most threatening gathering storm. His power toppled the mightiest of foes, and his intense light shined on America, and we were able to see clearly injustice, inequality, poverty, pride, self realization, courage, laughter, love, joy and religious freedom for all.
In my standup work, I always do these characters, older people who are just off to the side. It's easier to write a story about the guy who made it to the top, but the middle is so much more interesting, so much more murky.
I'm a baby. I sleep like a baby - I'm up every two hours. And I think a lot. I worry a lot. I have great nights of no sleep where ideas come.
When I was about 21 and just about to get out of college at NYU, Vietnam was raging, and I was a frustrated musician for a little bit.
To this day, with all of these muscle-bound guys, nobody hit the ball further than Mickey Mantle, with his natural strength.
Rehearsals are for gags.
Our professor was Marty Scorsese. Marty was a graduate student, or Mr. Scorsese, which is what I had to call him, and still do when I see him 'cause he gave me a C.
I have to admit, I was a little bit of a misfit.
I really could've been a good student, but I was always hearing an imaginary audience.
I think I've far exceeded what I ever thought I could possibly do.
I never felt I had my 15, 16, 17 kind of years the way I maybe should have. It's a huge dent in you that it's hard to knock out and make it all smooth again.
What life throws at you - you just have to learn how to hit it, which is a baseball metaphor. The ball's outside, you hit to the right. You don't let them go by.
Your success is in your point of view. It's your life that you're talking about; it's your observations. That's the best lesson that I ever had.
Mom was so funny and loving to us kids. She was our first audience. When my dad died, I was suddenly alone in the house with her because my two older brothers were away at college. I was the man of the house, and she was the grieving woman.
It is great seeing the fruits of your labor. The joy I have in watching my daughters with their kids is great, because they're doing a wonderful job, and the kids are fantastic.
In the late 1960s, I was working as an usher for the New York stage production of 'You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown.'
Ali forced us to take a look at ourselves. This brash young man who thrilled us, angered us, confused and challenged us, ultimately became a silent messenger of peace who taught us that life is best when you build bridges between people, not walls.
I didn't rebel as a child. I missed that angry teenager thing.
My mind is always going. I'm always thinking what I need to do, what I haven't done, what I did do, what I didn't do as well as I could - I'm relentless that way with myself.
