I never worry that I'll die in my sleep, because I'm never asleep!
— Billy Crystal
What's so fascinating and frustrating and great about life is that you're constantly starting over, all the time, and I love that.
You have to really respect what your kids are doing with their kids and how they're raising them. You can't push your way into areas where you shouldn't be saying anything. You have to always remember they're not your own kids. Play with them, love them, spoil them to death - then hand them back.
Humans love sex, we need sex, it's how we connect, it reminds us we're alive, it's the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
My granddaughter's birth has made me want to create things she will love.
Change is such hard work.
Nobody is more truthful when he's acting than De Niro.
Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I'd always go off book and start improvising.
Kids need a happy household. They need to be loved and supported in their dreams. And I don't think you can make your kids' dreams your own. They need you to support them in their dreams.
A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it's really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it's great.
I was a film-directing major at NYU. I'm still not sure why I became a directing major, when I was really an actor and a comedian, but there was something that drew me to doing that.
My grandparents invented joylessness. They were not fun. I've already had more fun with my grandchildren than my grandparents ever had with me.
At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
I'm comfortable being old... being black... being Jewish.
Gentlemen, start your egos.
To be good, you need to believe in what you're doing.
That's the thing about jazz: it's free flowing, it comes from your soul.
You really have to have some muscle to be on the stage in front of the world.
Dad had a music store, and he'd often bring home comedy albums that I would listen to. I started listening to Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby, and developing taste. They really influenced my style of comedy.
I'd like to think there is a Heaven, and it starts from the happiest day in your life.
From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that's what I had to do.
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right.
Bambi, to a kid, was scary.
Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar.
