People live in a place called Tornado Alley - and they're surprised when they get hit by a tornado. I'm sorry when they get hit by tornadoes, but when you live in Tornado Alley you can't really claim surprise.
— Carlos Mencia
My birth name is Ned Mencia.
Shows I've done in war zones are the greatest. The first time I was in Iraq, I kid you not, I felt so uncomfortable having the troops say, 'Thank you.' It's so deep and heartfelt.
I can't imagine how unbelievable it would be to go to the Great Barrier Reef.
I don't do anything out of negativity anymore.
I am an extremist.
Here's what I know about the business I am in. It's all based on money. It's all based on ratings.
Guys like Rogan literally want to ruin my career. That's unbelievably cruel and hurtful, and I never want to be that guy.
I always knew I was going to lose weight.
I am frail like everyone else, and I take that into account when I talk about things.
I never want to forget that my job is to make people laugh.
I choose to live in a positive world and a positive presence.
Some people want to live in a world much prettier than the one I depict. But it exists, and I talk about it because it exists.
For me, it's always better to tell people the truth, because people can accept the truth.
I hate being judged.
If the worst thing happening to Middle Eastern people is that Carlos Mencia is doing a joke about them being stopped at airports, that's a pretty awesome state of affairs.
I could always talk about being a Latino and having a Mexican mom and a Honduran dad and being from Honduras. That was always an easy go-to place. But on the other hand, it was a crutch.
I will make a joke about any of my family members, about me, about my wife, if I really thought that I'm doing it to be funny. If there's some darkness to it, or I think it's ill-willed or mean or not cool, then I won't do it.
I'm just trying to be funny, trying to make people laugh, and trying to make the world a better place through some jokes. I don't have words for it. It's so overwhelming.
It's not hard to lose weight.
The cool thing about going to Vegas is that it's kind of like visiting a bunch of cities all at one time. All the shows and great restaurants leave you with a lot of options.
People that love me, love me. But the people that hate me really hate me.
One of the better moments in life is when you get your own car.
I was never one of those fat-victim people. I always have to address how much weight I lost, and people always realize then how fat I was.
'America is such a great country, we have fat poor people.' It's one of those jokes that doesn't hit people right away, because it's so prevalent that we don't get it.
If you don't like your job, then change it by getting some better skills. Until then, shut up and get my burger with a smile, like in the commercials.
My ancestry is really weird, because my great grandfather was from the Cayman Islands, and then his father was from England. But I lose track at that point.
I have 11 sisters and 6 brothers.
I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh.
It's a pleasure to be doing a show for Comedy Central. Traditional networks would cast me as the head of a household with 16 children, which I find extremely offensive because there are 18 kids in my family.
I've dated many women at the same time. But I told them. I didn't keep any secrets from them.
The easiest thing to do is put someone in a file of somebody you already know. 'Hey, you remind me of Sam Kinison' or 'You remind me of Richard Pryor.' That's fine, because I know that's the process. Eventually, my own file will be created.
Just because my name is Carlos Mencia, don't think my show is going to be about the difference between Mexicans and white people.
I grew up poor. The fact that I had to struggle to succeed, that wasn't a big deal to me. I'd struggled my whole life.
When I was born, I was given to my uncle and aunt to raise as their kid because they couldn't have kids.
I don't want to go on stage with anger. And that's why I worked so hard to look within and change myself and evolve.
I was born in Honduras, and everything there is really chill, and people don't worry about having to get something overnighted by FedEx. Maui has that same sort of vibe, but everyone speaks English.
My favorite place is Maui. It's almost perfect there - the people, the weather, just everything. No matter how busy you are, when you get to Maui, you chill and relax.
All this stuff that went down, the joke-stealing accusations, me not wanting to do 'Mind of Mencia' anymore. All these things made me look inside myself.
When I was younger, I was angry. I was boisterous and loud. I was on top of the mountain, screaming at everybody, 'Look at me!' Now I'm more of a Taoist.
The weight loss came about because a buddy of mine who was diagnosed with diabetes because of his obesity told me that I was fat. And I started laughing, and he was like, 'No seriously, you're fat.' And I said, 'Oh wow, really.'
If I were to say that I grew up in East Los Angeles in the projects, poor, I assumed that everybody understood that it came with its own reasons for being the way I am. I didn't get that people needed to understand where my comedy came from; I thought that they knew that.
My comedy is about, lift yourself. See reality. Change the reality if you don't like it. But if you can't, then deal with things as they are because crying about it isn't going to change anything.
I'm a teacher and a philosopher by nature... In the end, I'm trying to teach people to live a better life. And if I can do that on top of entertain, then I leave the world a better place.
I like to look in the crevices of things, the nooks and the crannies. I like to see the things other people don't see, don't want to look at.
If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.
I've gotten in trouble with every race you can imagine. They say, 'I can't believe you talked about this - you're racist.' And I say, 'How can I be racist? Isn't racism exclusionary? If all of you are offended, that means I'm including every race in my jokes.'
I know I'm funny.
I was never funny. I'd be funny once a year at Christmas. I'd do impressions of how people talked and danced, but that stopped when I was about 11.
I know that if any other comedian came up to me questioning something I did or said, it would be literally settled in a heartbeat. I love comedy. I give to comedy. I don't take from comedy.
