I was a left-handed dentist who made people cry.
— Casey Stengel
All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for... reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration.
You can't go out to the mound hobbling and take a pitcher out with a cane.
No baseball pitcher would be worth a darn without a catcher who could handle the hot fastball.
The Mets have shown me more ways to lose than I even knew existed.
Without losers, where would the winners be?
If you're playing baseball and thinking about managing, you're crazy. You'd be better off thinking about being an owner.
When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out.
Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.
They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.
The trouble with women umpires is that I couldn't argue with one. I'd put my arms around her and give her a little kiss.
Managing is getting paid for home runs that someone else hits.
I got players with bad watches - they can't tell midnight from noon.
I feel greatly honored to have a ballpark named after me, especially since I've been thrown out of so many.
I came in here and a fella asked me to have a drink. I said I don't drink. Then another fella said hear you and Joe DiMaggio aren't speaking and I said I'll take that drink.
Don't cut my throat, I may want to do that later myself.
Sure I played, did you think I was born at the age of 70 sitting in a dugout trying to manage guys like you?
Everybody line up alphabetically according to your height.
If I've got a good pinch-hitter, I hate to have him stay on the bench with men on the bases in an early inning. He may end the game right there.
You gotta learn that if you don't get it by midnight, chances are you ain't gonna get it, and if you do, it ain't worth it.
You have to have a catcher because if you don't you're likely to have a lot of passed balls.
You gotta lose 'em some of the time. When you do, lose 'em right.
They told me my services were no longer desired because they wanted to put in a youth program as an advance way of keeping the club going. I'll never make the mistake of being seventy again.
Been in this game one-hundred years, but I see new ways to lose 'em I never knew existed before.
Two hundred million Americans, and there ain't two good catchers among 'em.
You have to go broke three times to learn how to make a living.
They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
The secret of successful managing is to keep the five guys who hate you away from the four guys who haven't made up their minds.
I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.
If you're so smart, let's see you get out of the Army.
I don't like them fellas who drive in two runs and let in three.
Good pitching will always stop good hitting and vice-versa.
There are three things you can do in a baseball game. You can win, or you can lose, or it can rain.
The team has come along slow but fast.
I've tried to give a dollar and 25 cents in work for every dollar paid me.
I broke in with four hits, and the writers promptly declared they had seen the new Ty Cobb. It took me only a few days to correct that impression.
Oldtimers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. If you can walk away from them, they're successful.
Finding good players is easy. Getting them to play as a team is another story.
Never make predictions, especially about the future.
Son, we'd like to keep you around this season but we're going to try and win a pennant.
The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.
The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it.
You got to get twenty-seven outs to win.
The Yankees don't pay me to win every day, just two out of three.
There comes a time in every man's life, and I've had plenty of them.
It's wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn't used to like.
If we're going to win the pennant, we've got to start thinking we're not as good as we think we are.
I don't know if he throws a spitball but he sure spits on the ball.
Don't drink in the hotel bar, that's where I do my drinking.
I was not successful as a ball player, as it was a game of skill.
