Organizations like the ACLU fought and won the good fight back in the 1960's, but it's clear that nowadays they've run out of useful things to do since they now spend most of their time defending the scum of the Earth from getting what they rightly deserve.
— Craig Bruce
I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe.
Whoever invented double clicking should be shot in the head! Twice!
Think Tank, noun: The shower.
Supermarket automatic doors open for me; therefore, I am.
It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow.
When trying to locate something, search your mind first.
'Programming' is a four-letter word.
From each according to his ability, to each according to his ability.
Temporary solutions often become permanent problems.
If the shoe fits, it is probably worn out.
Things always look better when you haven't seen them.
I wonder if those people shown protesting the deployment of nuclear weapons to western Europe during the Reagan era are feeling appropriately stupid today. 'Please don't take away our precious Soviet Union! - We demand the annihilation of all life on Earth!'
Fighting a war on terrorism is like fighting against crime. We can never hope to eradicate crime, so we shouldn't bother fighting it.
Yeah, computers are going to take over the programming business because they have become so fast recently that they can solve the Halting Problem in five seconds flat.
My to-do list is so long that it doesn't have an end; it has an event horizon.
Liberalism is financed by the dividends from Conservatism.
Anything on paper is obsolete!
Geez, all that money we waste on space exploration; just think how many bombs that would buy!
Don't judge a book by its thickness either.
In order for a man to be truly evil, he must be a woman.
Even IBM can't stand in the way of progress... for more than a decade.
The difference between being able to understand something and inventing it in the first place... is called genius.
Never question the relevance of truth, but always question the truth of relevance.
When shooting in the dark, it is a good idea to use a machine gun.
The entire universe is working against me. I can't believe the entire universe could be that foolish!
Something is always simple until you try it.
You usually have to wait for that which is worth waiting for.
The people who actually do things always suffer the slings and arrows of those who don't.
When anarchy is declared, the first thing we do, let's kill all the anarchists.
It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals.
1 + 1 = 2. Everything else is derived.
It's funny how most activists are pacifists.
Don't trust anyone who has been in school for the past 24 consecutive years.
Nothing surpasses the beauty and elegance of a bad idea.
Now is the time for all good men to run like hell.
The Thought Police: To censor and protect.
The only thing that is obscene is censorship.
When you are finished with it, put it back in the first place that you looked for it.
If I gave a damn what other people think of me, I would be more like other people.
Never underestimate the power of a simple tool.
Why are people unemployed? Because there is no work. Why is there no work? Because people are not buying products and services. Why are people not buying products and services? Because they have no money. Why do people have no money? Because they are unemployed.
When you talk to yourself, at least you know that someone is listening.
Silence is a statement that is open to gross misinterpretation.
Time is a resource whose supply is inversely proportional to its demand.
It's easy to idealize someone that you don't know.
It's a bit odd that nobody seems to be using the correct technical term to describe organized Islamic terrorists. They are not a faction of a religion or a social movement. They are a cult. A suicide cult.
The only people I've ever heard saying that disagreeing with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld is un-American or treasonous are people who disagree with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld.
Live every day as if it is your last, and you'll be correct sooner than you otherwise would be.
The world is real. Consciousness is the illusion.
