There's just a feeling you get from certain things you do in life that just kind of feel pure and independent of what's actually, physically, going on.
— Craig Ferguson
You know, your whole life you're concerned about money for this and that. And then you don't have to worry about it, so you worry about other stuff.
The wedding took place in Vermont, where they have legalized gay civil unions, and I married a woman.
It's not that we fly by the seat of our pants. We're not afraid of failure.
Being an American is something I wanted to be for a very long time, probably since I saw the moon landing when I was a child.
I think that clearly it has an influence, to be coming of age during the punk rock era, to come from a difficult and sporadically violent background, to have been in and out of such chaos, I think it actually helps. But I don't know for sure.
Historically, when Americans don't know what to do next, they go to Paris. Benjamin Franklin is like: 'What am I going to do now? I'll go to Paris!'
I'm careful with money.
If Scotland and America go to war, I'm afraid I've already sworn in.
I come from a very critical culture. You know the Scots. They're always saying: 'Oh, no. It will never work. You'll never amount to anything. You've got to know your place in the world.'
I aim to please. I'm nothing if not a vaudevillian.
I'm not aware of having a creepy laugh, but apparently I do.
Don't ever rope me in as a late-night talk show host. I don't want to be one.
All they teach you in drama school is how to do stage fights and be a pain in rehearsals.
I've got young kids, so it suits me to do a job which keeps me in town right now.
Late night is no different than making a film, really, except that it's faster, and if you do a crap one, you can do a better one tomorrow. Writing a novel and doing stand-up - that stuff is very similar.
It's like, it's kind of like if you ever had a car and it was a bit of a clunker but you love it, that's my show. It's a bit of a clunker but I know where everything is and I like it.
The idea of having Australians upset at me is just awful.
I always wanted to make motion pictures, ever since I was a wee boy, and I was 32, and time was marching on. I met a guy who said, 'Come out to Hollywood for 10 days, and I'll get you a deal.' So I figured, 'OK, 10 days.' On the 10th day, he got me a development deal with Disney, not for a lot of money, but it allowed me to make the move.
Is it really that important? It's just television, for God's sake. It's not medicine or something.
Scotland is a much lighter and more fun place than I thought it was. I was miserable when I was there. But it wasn't Scotland's fault. It was my circumstances. I was - I hate to say the word humbled - but that's what it felt like. I was wrong about this place. This is a great place full of very fun people.
I try and live my life in bite-size chunks.
I have no ambitions beyond being comfortable in what I do for a living - and earning a living.
I'm crazy. I know I'm crazy 'cause Desmond Tutu told me, and he's very clever. He said, 'You must free yourself, be more of who you are. Be more crazy.' And I'm going to.
I think I'm just someone that just tries to get by. I'm kind of - if it was during the Second World War, I'd be a black marketeer, I think.
I am probably a pseudo-intellectual.
I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that.
Why do people do things that they fear? It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.
I remember talking to someone early on after I was sober about how I suddenly felt awkward at parties. They said, 'Well, you're supposed to. Everyone feels awkward at parties.' It's an appropriate feeling to feel.
I wanted to be a rock star.
I don't see my show as a stepping stone to something else like some people, who get a job then have a foot out the door looking for their next job.
I don't get emails from my corporate overlords.
A lot of people come to L.A. looking for something. What I came here for, I realize now, is to be okay with myself.
My pilot's license. I'm proud of that.
The truth is, you win the Lotto. That's really how you have to approach it. You're a lottery winner when you get a sitcom and it goes.
I came to America, and I made good. It's an old story, but it hasn't been told in a long time. Usually, it's, 'I'm an immigrant, I came here and got persecuted.' My story is I came here, I worked hard, and it worked out all right. So it's still available.
I'm a terrible interviewer. I'm not a journalist - although I have a Peabody Award - and I'm not really a late-night host. What I am is honest.
I'm reading a book, because I'm brainy. No, it is a book - if you don't know, it is like a blog except bigger.
I used to believe, like many people who come from poor backgrounds, that it gave me an edge, but I think that's just something we have to tell ourselves to get by sometimes. I don't believe that anymore. Children of privilege can be just as talented and clever as anybody else.
I hope what I do has an art to it, and as an artist you have to try new things and keep yourself entertained.
I have to do a show which is of interest to me, or else I'm lost.
I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny.
I dropped out of high school when I was 16, after I had a huge argument with my English teacher over the meaning of the word 'existentialism.'
It's very interesting to know what people are doing while you're working on late-night television.
It's the beauty and curse of doing a daily show. Some days you've got nothing to talk about and other days Dick Cheney shoots his lawyer in the face and everyone is happy.
I do a show. It comes on late at night on TV. And if that means I'm a late-night talk show host, then I guess I am, but in every other regard I resign my commission, I don't care for it.
If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm gone.
I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.
Other than the laws of physics, rules have never really worked out for me.
I said that the only way I could have a band that would work in the format of my show is if the band were crap. So if I have a band they'd have to really suck.
