Every actor thinks he can do comedy, and it's not true.
— Denis Leary
If I'm president, there are going to be government vans that drive around and pick up people who shouldn't be wearing certain clothing. Talk about lack of civil rights - I'm sorry, I'm pulling you right off the street, and we're giving you clothes that you're going to be O.K. in.
I learned a long time ago, if you want to keep your friends in show business, don't get famous. Because as soon as you get famous, a lot of the people you used to know, who didn't, become incredibly bitter and jealous. It's part of the territory.
I've been nominated for Emmys and Golden Globes, but I've never won one and I probably never will.
There are some guys I know for a fact, like Louis C.K., who always talk about how not-great of an actor he is, and he's terrific on his show. But I know Louis would play a fantastic dramatic role in something, too. He just needs somebody to grab him and say, 'Come in here and do this.'
If you had no enemies, you had no fun.
Most of the women placed in the fire department here in New York never passed the physical test. And a fat guy or a short guy, or anybody not passing the test in a life-or-death job, leads to friction.
Anthony Mackie in 'The Hurt Locker' is everything an actor can hope to be. So rock steady in his portrayal that you immediately forget every performance he may have previously given, and focus only on the character in front of you.
My nieces and my nephews think the only thing that I do is 'Ice Age.' That's fine with me because pretty soon they'll grow up enough to realize that I suck or that my time has passed, whichever it might be.
I have a lot of conservative views on a lot of things.
If you want a long-term relationship that doesn't require a lot of work, I say, get a dog. They love you no matter what. But when it comes to humans, there's no secret; you really have to appreciate the person every single day.
I think all priests should be married.
I'm praying for 'Ice Age' 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10. Because I really think we can run those characters into the '60s, and I'm talking the 1960s, you know? The Civil Rights Movement. That's what I'm praying for, because then I wouldn't have to do anything else.
I'm not saying being a comedian is brain surgery, but it is definitely - it's like being a carpenter. You learn how to make tables and chairs. You have to have the right tools, and you have to know how to put the thing together, right?
I'm still pretty self-centered, greedy and angry.
Science fiction was never my thing. I have no interest in it. So I don't think I could successfully pull off being on a project like that without really losing my mind.
There's no way around it - drama is very difficult to shoot. It's very heavy and something that you carry with you for the course of the day.
If a character dies, you get to do a big, juicy death scene. But the flip side is you're out of the sequel, which is where the real money is.
The first movie I saw where it convinced me I could be an actor was 'Mean Streets,' so whenever I see Robert De Niro and he says, 'Hi, Denis,' it's still a really big deal.
My brother and I tortured my mother growing up.
I'm a pretty boring guy. Compared to Ashton Kutcher, I live a really boring existence.
When I was doing standup, I always wanted to get out of the standup world and take it back into the theatrical world, like with 'No Cure For Cancer.'
Kids are incredibly expensive. But it pays off later when they are better educated, bigger, and better-looking than you. And find you incessantly boring and uncool.
What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny.
I fell asleep during 'Year One' twice. And my son, who never falls asleep during a Jack Black movie, also nodded off. That's how bad it was. I was incredibly disappointed.
George Carlin was great right up to the end of his life. But Richard Pryor was probably the best, most gifted stand-up comedian who will ever live.
I basically - I don't like tattoos, unless you're a firefighter who has a tattoo that has to do with that or a military guy. That's - those are people who should have tattoos.
I don't watch 'American Idol.' I don't watch any of that stuff.
You try to - you want to fly on both sides of the political fence because that's where the - where the comedy is.
I didn't raise my kids with the fear of God.
I'm born and raised in the Northeast. My parents are Irish immigrants. So our tendency is to shy away from the big yellow ball that comes up in the sky every once in a while.
Where I grew up, the basketball courts were rarely used.
I love French stuff. Mmmm, french fries.
Good actors, especially when they know their character, will come in and either tell you in advance that they have an idea, or in the middle of the rehearsal or the scene they'll let it loose and you go, 'Ah that's great.'
I'd love to play in a Red Sox game. It would be so awesome to actually walk out on the field and play, just for one inning. I'd also steal everything I could get my hands on in the clubhouse, which is why they won't let me do it.
I love Santa Monica and Venice because I like the beach. I have a lot of friends in that area.
My only worry about tweeting and modern technology is how it has crept into even the darkest corners of the absolute global village we live in.
I'd love to do another television series. I really love the writing process, and as an actor I really like how much you get to examine in television.
Wolfhounds helped kill off the wolves in Ireland.
Willem Dafoe and I are actually the same person.
Sometimes 'great acting' is just showing off - chewing up scenery and dialogue and other actors - the equivalent of a theatrical sugar rush.
I don't want to see a 'Sopranos' movie. This is just me. I like to think the end is where it was on TV as opposed to becoming a movie.
I believe in prescription drugs. I believe in feeling better.
I love America.
I know gay - gay people who aren't married who are better parents than some, you know, straight people I know who are married.
I went to see the 'Spider-Man' movies because my wife is a fan, and so are my kids.
I'm a lapsed Catholic in the best sense of the word.
My charity is in the business of helping firefighters in any way that we can. For instance, after 9/11 we were the second-fastest charity to raise and distribute money to the widows and surviving family members of the 343 firefighters who died that day.
I obviously identify with the anti-authority figure. I've pretty much always had problems with authority, ever since I was a kid.
I spent a long time working in the movies to figure out that kind of acting and also how to write and produce for the screen.
