I don't have regrets. I've never sat here and thought, 'Gee, if only I'd done 'The Man Who Came to Dinner' on Broadway, I would have been happier.'
— Don Rickles
I busted my bird for 60 years in the business, but my grandkids only know me as Mr. Potato Head.
The highlight of my career was being at the inaugural gala of Ronald Reagan, and I owe that to Mr. Sinatra.
An insult is mean or unkind. Milton Berle called me the Sultan of Insult, and I was called the King of Insult. But the guy that gave me the best title - and I use it to this day - was Johnny Carson. He called me Mr. Warmth.
The young comedians always ask me, 'What's the secret for staying around?' I tell them, 'There is no secret - just stay around. Longevity is the most important thing.'
I enjoy mixed audiences, not one particular group. Short, tall, scientists, Jews, gentiles, whatever, as long as they breathe and like to laugh.
Sinatra had a lot of mood swings, but he was wonderful to my wife Barbara and to me. He made no bones about who he liked and who he loved, and he had this great charisma. When he walked into a room, it stopped. I've only seen that happen with Ronald Reagan.
Half the battle is that people have to like you before you say one joke, one bit of humor.
When I walk down the street in New York, I swear to God, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, 'Hey, you hockey puck!'
Ninety percent of the people who come to see me are my fans.
When you do comedy, you can't please the world, although I'd like to think that most of my audiences were on my side.
It's very sweet to have people say nice things about you, and I always accept that.
I don't care if the average guy on the street really knows what I'm like, as long as he knows I'm not really a mean, vicious guy. My friends and family know what I'm really like. That's what's important.
No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.
Even when I was in high school and the Navy, I was the guy who could rip somebody, and they'd laugh at it.
Bob Newhart, who is my best friend, is one of the guys I adore.
The man I adored, and miss him terribly, was Johnny Carson.
Honestly, I didn't realize it - all of a sudden, I was 90. The years skipped by quickly. When it happened, I said, 'Where did the time go?'
After over 50 years of headlining, I've been received very beautifully. But I always say, when you're onstage, you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's OK.
Among my friends, I'm not a little Boy Scout, and they love my humor, thank God.
I don't do impressions.
I've been hot, I've been lukewarm, I've been freezing, but I've always been a headliner.
Alan King, a comedian I adored, was considered society, and I was considered the Jewish kid from the neighborhood.
My mother was a Jewish General Patton.
I've never gone to comedy clubs.
Every night when I go out on stage, there's always one nagging fear in the back of my mind. I'm always afraid that somewhere out there, there is one person in the audience that I'm not going to offend!
I don't like to compare myself with anybody.
Now when I'm not working, I don't really hang out with the young comics.
Johnny Carson was a big influence on me - all of those shows I did with him over the years, like, 100 of them, they made a bit of a name for me at the time, so that part of my life was very good.
Room service is great if you want to pay $500 for a club sandwich.
I stopped smoking. But my personality I still have. I get up in the morning, and not everybody loves me, so if you want to call that a bad habit, there's that.
I didn't get married until I was 38.
When you first start out with something new, you're always a little uptight.
The average person pushes an elevator button 6 or 7 minutes before realizing it's not working. I did a study on this, you know.
I don't practice or write stuff down - everything I do onstage was just made up before I went on.
Everything I've performed has been from my own head.
I don't walk into a dinner party and say, 'You're an idiot; give me my coat.'
I was in World War II; I cried when they took me in the Navy. That's the last time I cried.
Las Vegas is the boiling pot of entertainment.
Bob Hope was totally regimented. I go in and say a line like, 'Hi Bob' and I'd have to do it five times, and then Bob would take me to the writers to say the line different ways. He wouldn't let me ad-lib.
Some people call me a legend and the last of the greats, and I appreciate it.
I say things I get away with, and it becomes a joke.
My grandchildren just know me now as Mr. Potato Head.
I couldn't sell air conditioners on a 98-degree day. When I demonstrated them in a showroom, I pushed the wrong button and blew the circuit.
My life was in Montreal years ago. Best food in the world.
After I graduated, I tried Broadway, which was difficult for me. It was tough to get a part on Broadway, so I just started talking to audiences at different social gatherings, and little by little I became Don Rickles - whatever that is.
Famous people are deceptive. Deep down, they're just regular people. Like Larry King. We've been friends for forty years. He's one of the few guys I know who's really famous. One minute he's talking to the president on his cell phone, and then the next minute he's saying to me, 'Do you think we ought to give the waiter another dollar?'
I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew eventually I'd have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys.
You've got to be able to sell yourself.
I have a wonderful road manager, and he travels with me. And my valet and friend travels with me. My little entourage is great, and they take good care of me.
