I don't believe it. Prove it to me and I still won't believe it.
— Douglas Adams
To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.
The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?
I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.
You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks.
Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
Cyberspace is - or can be - a good, friendly and egalitarian place to meet.
I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.
For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.
We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.
The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.
If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Time is bunk.
The difficulty with this conversation is that it's very different from most of the ones I've had of late. Which, as I explained, have mostly been with trees.
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too.
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
Life is wasted on the living.
He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
