When you crop the photo, you tell a lie.
— Douglas Coupland
When Donald Duck traded his wings for arms, was he trading up or trading down?
Adventure without risk is Disneyland.
Being asked what animal you'd like to be is a trick question; you're already an animal.
If you don't change, then what's the point of anything happening to you?
In our heads we're all about 33 years old.
We're rapidly approaching a world comprised entirely of jail and shopping.
If cats were double the size they are now, they'd probably be illegal.
High school is such a shared experience in North American culture.
I think the killers get far too much attention.
You wait for fate to bring about the changes in life which you should be bringing about by yourself.
The capacity for not feeling lonely can carry a very real price, that of feeling nothing at all.
Good-looking people with strong, fluoridated teeth get things handed to them on platters.
Your brain forms roughly 10,000 new cells every day, but unless they hook up to preexisting cells with strong memories, they die. Serves them right.
Americans are a quarter of a billion people who have almost nothing in common except for the fact they've been told they have lots in common.
Quick. Name ten dead redheads.
You spend a much larger part of your life being old, not young.
Making eye contact with adults while dressed as a clown is risky.
The real killers in the business world aren't the ones who aim for the top, it's the ones who aim for two notches below the top.
We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.
Your ability to rationalize your own bad deeds makes you believe that the whole world is as amoral as you are.
Every human being you see in the course of a day has a problem that's sucking up at least 70 percent of his or her radar.
Figure out what it is in life you don't do well, and then don't do it.
Clowns drink to blot out the ravages of terrifying children for a living.
It's difficult to speak with beautiful people. No matter how hard you try to pretend otherwise, you still want them to like you.
Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without.
You can't get mad at weather because weather's not about you. Apply that lesson to most other aspects of life.
Your body isn't just a body. It's an ecosystem.
There's a lot to be said for having a small manageable dream.
Long lives aren't natural. We forget that senior citizens are as much an invention as toasters or penicillin.
If someone decides to be a musician now, it means because there is no hope of money at the end of it, it means they really want to be a musician. And if someone is writing now, there is no hope for money at the end of it.
You pretend to be more eccentric than you actually are because you fear you are an interchangeable cog.
