Fans recognize me all over the place. But the second you need anything, they're never around! They're like the police!
— Elaine Stritch
I think I have more humour in me than anger. But those two things are great bed-fellows, performance-wise.
I smoked, I drank, I did all the kicking my heels up type things, but I went to Mass on Sunday.
I love New York. I went to New York to become an actress, and I did it. And I won all the awards known to man. And I'm happy. And I came home. I came, I saw, I conquered. And it feels great.
I like celebrities. I love people who are famous. Always have.
Isn't this fantastic, what a star I am?
There are a lot of things I do that I don't want to, but I have to. It's truly an emotional need for me to perform.
I don't want to see my family all the time, and they're delighted, I'm sure, to be aware of that.
I think being boring is just the worst sin of all time.
You can't be funny unless you're tragic, and you can't be tragic unless you're funny.
Talent is seductive.
New Yorkers stop me on the street all the time to say, 'You're terrific! You're the nuts!'
Talent is very dangerous. It alienates people.
I love holidays in New York. I love 'em. I want to celebrate something all the time, and New York has holidays for every day of the week, practically. I like holidays in New York City.
I'm funny when I want to be. And I'm even funny when I don't want to be.
I like being talked about. I think some people really don't... because they're secure enough and they don't need that.
Making clever speeches takes a lot of work and a lot of time.
I think taking care of yourself, health-wise, in every way, is a 100 percent winner.
I love audiences. My God, the best friends in the world!
I loved being on Broadway, but performing has become exhausting, and I just don't want to live in New York anymore. I'm just sick of the competition in New York, the feeling that I always have to rehearse to keep up my performance. I don't feel like rehearsing, even though it should be my favorite thing in the world to do.
When the hospital sends for me, when the ambulance comes and I ease my way out of the world, I'd rather be in Detroit, Michigan, than Lenox Hill.
My biggest dream was to get out of Michigan - to discover life beyond the Sacred Heart Convent.
There's something about it that makes sense, Lent. You give something up, and everything's more joyful.
I just serve others through entertaining. That's when I am happy.
I never thought about living in New York. I just thought it was great.
Honestly, this is a big thing to say, but I don't think I've ever been bored. If I even get an inkling of it, I split.
All you have to do is say, 'I'm going home,' and you're the most popular girl at the party.
These performers that go on about their technique and craft - oh, puleeze! How boring! I don't know what 'technique' means. But I do know what experience is.
I find it easier to abstain than do a little bit of anything. I'm not a 'little bit' kind of dame. I want it all, whatever I do.
I could have made a lot of money doing 'Golden Girls,' and I would have been good. But the image of it! And for me to work with Betty White every day would be like taking cyanide.
I'm a good acting partner for me... when I don't have anyone else, I do really well!
The people in New York - their humor is on a level that goes, uh, very deep, you know?
You have to be very, very good looking to get ahead in motion pictures.
There will always be ladies who lunch. Always. And apparently they live a long time.
There were a lot of lyrics that I sang but didn't understand. But I had this facade in performance of looking like I wrote the book.
If I see someone saying the rosary in the wings, I know they've got talent.
I'm loaded with talent.
I like glasses so I can go out without my makeup. Just grab your coat and get your hat and go.
I don't think I'm gonna die tomorrow or even two weeks from now, or even ever. I just don't know - who the hell knows what's gonna happen to them? Nobody! Isn't that comforting? Nobody has a clue. I like that we don't know. And I like that it's somebody else's decision, not mine.
I mention I'm going home, and I'm a star immediately! This used to happen with my boyfriends - as soon as I'd say, 'I gotta go home now,' they fell in love.
Quite frankly I don't know how to be happy. I have not a clue.
Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.
I compare Stephen Sondheim with humor, because humor is unanalyzable. You can't analyze humor. You just have to get through it.
There's certainly nothing lasting and definite about the theater.
Let me tell you about those convents. All that crap about extending the pinkie finger while sipping tea is a myth. Convent schools are breeding grounds for great broads and occasionally one-of-the-boys. Convent schools teach you to play against everything, which is what I'm still doing.
Betty White is probably a very nice woman.
You never know what is happening to yourself when it is happening.
I don't have to go to a doctor and have my face changed. It terrifies me that women do that.
I love Birmingham, Michigan. It's lovely - you know, it's very similar to the Hamptons.
My idea of serenity - that wonderful word that everybody's trying to get into their life - is call-waiting.
