I've had toiletries explode in my bag and go all over my clothes a few times but I wouldn't let something like that ruin a holiday for me.
— Gareth Thomas
Part of a sportsman's job is taking banter from the crowd.
People can be really famous in Wales for rugby, but outside of Wales nobody really has a clue who you are or what you've done.
Everything I ever did in my life when I was younger revolved around wanting to play for Wales, and then you get that cap... it's hard to describe.
It's only when you leave the rugby bubble that you understand that negative criticism is not personal, it's reality because we don't always get everything right.
I had a lot of anger because I didn't like who I was when I was off the field. I used to relish the chance to try and hurt somebody in a legal way, and in the game of rugby you were able to do that.
I don't try and coax people to come out because it needs to be right for them as an individual but when I speak to some people I realise that the power and influence that famous sportspeople have is amazing and to show such a positive message can change the world.
I like to think I'm a bit of a son of the country, I've played for the country so many times I feel proud to be Welsh. It's accepted me for what I am and what I do.
You could say I'm the pioneer in the way I have changed some people's perception of not only sports people but of gay men in general. It's also important that people also realise that as much as a pioneer I'm also just a normal person. I'm normal but I've done something that's pretty powerful as well.
Gay men are accepted in films, music and politics because people came out and broke the mould and stereotype in those industries. What I am trying to do is break the trend in rugby and sport in general and show any aspiring sportsman, regardless of his age, that the mould has been broken.
When I came out I hoped it would empower others - and it has.
I know it's not easy for people to get to a gym.
I wish Mike Ruddock nothing but the very best in whatever he does in the future. I will always remember him as the guy who had the confidence to make me captain of Wales.
When the Wales squad met up for the 2005 autumn internationals, I was already concerned that we were slipping into bad habits. And, yes, the role of head coach Mike Ruddock was, in my opinion, becoming a problem that would eventually need to be addressed if nothing changed.
When I was 16 or 17 I knew I was gay, but knowing and accepting are two very different things.
I had a stroke in 2006. I thought: 'This is it.'
I'm a sportsman, as good and strong as you, who just happens to be gay.
You've got to be a right grouch to hate holidays, but one thing I do hate is the old towel on the sun bed trick. It kills me that people get up at five in the morning and go down to the swimming pool and reserve their sun bed with a towel.
I'm not a stereotypical gay man but I am a gay man as much as anyone else.
I can remember lacing up my boots ahead of my first cap against Japan in the 1995 World Cup in South Africa. I remember the changing room, the smell of the place, every last detail of how I warmed up, walking out onto the pitch, thinking how proud my parents would be. I was doing all I ever wanted to do.
I loved playing rugby so much. I would have played rugby every day if I could have. I loved being a player so much, I don't know if I could sit on the side, with the passion I have and try and influence without being on there.
Everything I do, I do it being myself.
I've been through 20 years of torment battling with my sexuality.
I became the master of playing the straight bat - I would go to bars with the boys, I would always be the one to start a fight, to be outrageous and drink the most. I even went to the extreme of marrying the perfect woman for me.
Times change so fast.
The sports are almost different cultures so saying I prefer one to the other is wrong. Rugby union is guided by a lot of rules, league by the players.
I knew I was gay at 18, but to come out then would have meant I would not have achieved what I did in rugby. I loved rugby so much and it was so important to me that I made the decision to keep my sexuality secret. People may disagree with that, but it was my belief and my decision.
Playing rugby has been my whole life and for me, keeping fit was part of my job. But when I gave up my career, I was determined to keep motivated, and that isn't always easy when you have lost the competitive edge to it.
After giving up rugby, I wanted to keep busy.
Sometimes, players find it impossible to see the bigger picture after games for the simple reason that we are the ones who have actually played.
If I keep getting letters or if I keep getting messages from people who are still taking strength from my story, who are still finding it difficult and struggling, then you know what, then I'll keep doing what I do.
It is the toughest, most macho of male sports, and with that comes an image. In many ways, it is barbaric, and I could never have come out without first establishing myself and earning respect as a player. Rugby was my passion, my whole life, and I wasn't prepared to risk losing everything I loved.
Someone said on social media that I was the son of Satan for being open about my sexuality. I told my mother, and she laughed and said, 'Well, what the hell does that make me?'
I don't take any day for granted, I work hard, I'm motivated.
I've always wanted to go to Chicago.
Growing up I wasn't aware of a single gay person in our town. The only people who were gay that you had any idea of were Kenny Everett and people like him on TV. I thought, that's not what I am.
I've been through the first cap, the 50th, and the 100th, and I defy any player who has ever gone past all those milestones to look at each of them and say that first cap isn't the one that makes him tingle the most.
Wherever I am in my life, it's because rugby has enabled me to do that.
If I hadn't had the rugby field to get rid of my aggression I would have been locked up a long time ago.
I hated being Gareth Thomas. I hated the man I looked at in the mirror.
If I'm in the position to help someone else I'd love to be able to.
When you lie you live in fear as well.
People tend to be consumed by sport when the big events come up.
Every gay man will tell you that 'coming out' is like a weight lifted from your shoulders and beng able to walk down the street knowing that there is nothing for me to hide has been a liberating experience.
As a professional sportsman, working out has always been an important part of my life.
This journey of education and breaking stigma around HIV is something that will have a legacy everlasting.
Finding a release mechanism after the pressure of a Test-match week can take over, and the next game can seem as though it might as well be six months away.
I became a master of disguise and could play the straight man down to a tee, sometimes over-compensating by getting into fights or being overly aggressive because I didn't want the real me to be found out. So I created this alter ego, knowing full well that I was living in my little fantasy bubble, my shell.
I was never ever attracted to any of my rugby mates; I was really good at switching off my emotions and I wouldn't have even considered crossing that line.
I find it hard to believe that people can be jealous of other people's success.
