If you're a lead actor, people are just waiting to say 'you're too old' or 'you're too unhip.' If you're a supporting actor, you can just work forever.
— Gilbert Gottfried
One thing I can take credit for, along with the rest of show business, is when the red ribbons were out, we cured AIDS. Any advancements that came towards fighting AIDS were not done by scientists or doctors - it was people with little ribbons on their lapels.
I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.
Well, I play Jews and parrots. Parrots are how I've branched out.
No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.
There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows.
In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.
If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house.
I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.
Well, I'm eventually gonna take the Daryl Hannah parts.
I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.
I have always felt comedy and tragedy are roommates. If you look up comedy and tragedy, you will find a very old picture of two masks. One mask is tragedy. It looks like it's crying. The other mask is comedy. It looks like it's laughing. Nowadays, we would say, 'How tasteless and insensitive. A comedy mask is laughing at a tragedy mask.'
Unfortunately, I've never been mistaken as Johnny Depp.
I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.
The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.
