My dad always told me that, as far as he's concerned, I can do whatever I choose in life as long as I'm happy and can handle the consequences of bad decisions. He only ever said that when he thought I was doing the wrong thing. I would employ similar passive aggression.
— Greg Davies
I often run teaching down in my standup, but I had some great years, and it's a great job. It represented a place where I knew what I wanted to do but didn't have the courage.
I grew up in Shropshire, but I was born in Wales. There was a hospital seven miles away, but my dad drove 45 miles over the Welsh border so I could play rugby for Wales. But as a skinny asthmatic, I was only ever good at swimming.
The only difference between a comedian and someone else? We need to make people laugh more.
It's an irony that with the physical decline of age comes more mental wellbeing. It's life's cruel trick. You've settled down as a person, you feel happier with who you are, and then you get a massive swollen prostate and have to go for a test every two weeks. It's life's way of saying the struggle isn't over.
Myself and some kids on our estate became obsessed with the creation of the ultimate go-kart. This ambition culminated in the creation of a six-man super-cart, which was essentially a plank of wood with four wheels, and a failed attempt to jump a tributary of the River Severn powered only by Rex, our dog.
I came into comedy to make people laugh. If the fact that I can't stop eating Hobnobs in any way helps, I'm happy to celebrate that.
It's a strange old thing, but I think an awful lot of 'Inbetweeners' fans still don't realise I'm a stand-up.
I don't watch an awful lot of television. It's a very strange thing, and I don't know a lot of people who work in telly who watch a lot of it.
Every time I travel, I'm in a rage until I reach my destination. I find myself shouting at suitcases, as if it's their fault that I'm an inefficient packer. I've also learnt that whenever you despair of humanity and start thinking that you hate people - as I frequently do - you only have to travel to realise that people are basically all right.
I'm really not comfortable talking about my personal life.
Every time I wrote a school scene, I thought of that drama studio, because that's where I was a bit lost at sea.
Comedy brings out this rage in people: they get furious when they don't like something. I have some lovely hardcore fans.
Humour is learned behaviour, and I know exactly why I learned to be funny. I did it from a very early age. My dad was a hilarious man, and the way we interacted was being silly together. It was a way to hold his attention.
I would spend a lot of time setting up an accident scene where it appeared that I had seriously hurt myself - hedge-cutter, ketchup, that sort of thing. When my sister happened upon the scene of horror, I would lift my head and pathetically plead for her to 'get Mum'.
As soon as I get the chance, I'll be back spouting nonsense on the microphone.
I've politely declined a few reality-type things but generally have been asked to do things that I'd enjoy. I'll be doing less in the new year so I can get some writing done.
I would say the more significant factor of my starting late is that I developed a sufficiently thick skin to be able to - just about - handle the knocks that a fledgling comedian takes.
I'm 6ft 8in, so I feel like I've got full body thrombosis about five hours in if I'm flying in economy.
When I was 17, my dad was teaching in the States. He hired an A-Team-style van, and we drove all over. My resounding memory of it was that we saw all these wonderful places but that my sister and I were being horrible, sulky teenagers.
I was a very young 21-year-old. I was very scared. I spent three years at university in west London, and I went into central London three times. I came from Shropshire, and just having travelled that far was enough ambition.
Me and my sister made up a game called 'Milky Cow'. We were on holiday in France when I was 12, and there was a kid who had bovine features, and every time we went past her, we'd say, 'There's Milky Cow'.
One of my friend calls me 'lost to showbiz', but that's only because I don't go for a drink as often as he'd like, because I'm always working. I've met very few famous people who are lost to showbiz - I have met some, mind.
The state of the world petrifies me as much as it does everyone else at the moment. Anyone who comes to my show expecting incisive political analysis will be deeply disappointed.
I once bought some enormous fireworks that were literally the size of sticks of dynamite. We would go into the field behind our house, slide them into the biggest cow pats we could find, and blow them sky high. It was exhilarating and, for the cows, incredibly confusing.
'Man Down''s my absolute priority. If they give me another series, I'll throw everything into it because I really like the characters. But after that, I'll certainly be getting back on stage because I haven't done a proper gig for two years. Which is ridiculous for someone who loves it so much.
I love what I'm doing and will continue to do it, and there's nothing you can do to stop me.
Some of my friends in this business have received awful online abuse, but I've so far pretty much avoided it - and I've largely avoided meeting hideous people in the street. Most people tend to be charming.
I have no desire to work my adrenal glands any harder than necessary. I like lazing around; it's pretty important to my well-being. But I also get bored, so that's when my culture-vulturing kicks in.
