It's filled with... baking soda. Because it really smells.
— Kate O'Brien
I only use my sick days for hang-overs and soap opera weddings.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
My mom always said that if the Protestants catch a Catholic in their church, they feed them to the Jews.
Hmmm... I never get the answer I think I'm going to get.
A laugh is a terrible weapon.
If somebody on this team actually gets to first base, I'll stand there naked.
If it bends, it's funny; if it breaks, it's not funny.
