I'm a female in comedy, so of course I want there to be more women on 'SNL', and women of color.
— Kathy Griffin
I am an outsider looking in, absolutely. You're not going to see me at the Academy Awards 'Vanity Fair' party any time soon. I'm not somebody who, no matter where I go, there are paparazzi or any of that nonsense. But I have a little window into that world, and I can enter it and dance around. I want to be the audience's ticket into the party.
I feel more people can relate to the D-list than the A-list.
I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.
I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone... it's a joke!
I have what I call A-list moments, but believe me, I'm still on the D-list.
Remember, folks, I am a comedian, not a journalist.
Well, Jon Hamm isn't a real celebrity.
I have no limits, no filter, no class, no poise. No decorum. Just fun.
I'm not somebody who no matter where I go there are paparazzi or any of that nonsense. But I have a little window into that world and I can enter it and dance around. I want to be the audience's ticket into the party.
But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.
A lot of stars don't have a sense of humor.
My act has always reflected what's going on in my life.
It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a month.
I'm basically always on tour.
That's what I loved about Temptation Island. I don't even know why they did it.
I'm also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It's going to be a spoof of Biography.
I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.
To give up my job as a temp and actually make a living doing comedy, it was staggering.
I grew up in Chicago and was a huge fan of 'The Second City', so when I moved to L.A., I was looking for anything that resembled that... then I started 'The Groundlings', so I went to a show and it was very much like 'Second City'. I was so impressed that that same night I went backstage and I went up to the funniest person there.
I'll be honest, there's a part of me that does think I'm held to a different standard than my contemporaries and peers, and it's a little frustrating.
I prefer being known for my stand-up because I write it. I love being an actor, and saying other people's words is great. But then, when I do stand-up, I love getting my own point of view out there.
I have to tell you, though, the sexism in late night talk is so profound.
My friend Anderson Cooper is the scion of one of America's great shipping and railroad families, the Vanderbilts.
I love to work. I love doing standup.
Oh, I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly. But that's just part of the deal. I'm not really sure what's going to come out of my mouth.
It is a challenge, with the global fame, to try to act like I put my pants on one leg at a time, when in fact I have Pippa Middleton help me put my pants on every morning. She's my lady-in-waiting as well.
I actually have to pick and chose stuff that I know I'm going to bomb at.
A lot of celebrities, especially when you're talking about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody ever says no to them or challenges them or even teases them.
I'm on every worst-dressed list imaginable.
I am in love with Larry David.
Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn't care less if it's true.
I think a Celebrity Survivor would be great.
My act is based on my life.
I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly.
I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone... it's a joke!
I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there.
I have a no-apology policy.
Well, the coffeehouse audiences never know what they're going to get, and all the comics are different, as opposed to when you go to a club, and they're pretty much all telling jokes with set-ups and punchlines. Coffeehouse audiences are the most forgiving: They really listen, which is the best part.
When I'm going to see a comedian, I don't want to see them hold back, and when I'm reading a book, I don't want to hear an abridged version.
Pretty much everywhere I go, I'm pretty much thinking I'm going to be bounced. I am still the outsider who snuck into the party. I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.
Well, I think that when I perform on the road I always thank the audience for buying a ticket because it's a big deal to buy a ticket for a live entertainment, get a baby-sitter and pay for the meal, the parking, whatever.
The great thing about celebrity culture is that they can't seem to stop themselves from displaying their ridiculous behaviour. I feel it's my job as a serious investigative journalist to witness all kinds of behaviour and then report back to the audience through the prism of my own anger and bitterness.
I also don't have a desire to be on the A-list. I feel more people can relate to the D-list than the A-list.
I don't like doing movies, period. Movies are hard. I like TV.
I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.
I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly.
I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It's definitely rated R.
The thing that bums me out about 'The Real World' is I don't want to believe that teenagers are that stupid.
I also love Mole, the unsung hero of reality programming.
