I have a wandering eye and a lazy eye so they cancel each other out. It's a push.
— Kevin Nealon
I do have a place in my heart for animal shelters because the job they have is impossible - so many animals that need to euthanized because don't have homes for them.
I am whelmed, and not overly whelmed, just whelmed about a lot of facets in life - just how fragile life is and the different challenges you have in life, phobias about things.
What happened was, I always wanted to be a singer/songwriter kind of guy like a James Taylor or Crosby, Stills and Nash type of thing; I went to a lot of coffee houses and used to watch all those guys, but I never had the nerve to get up and do it because singing seems so personal and intimate to me. It was too revealing.
I really enjoyed working on the 2009 film, 'Aliens in the Attic,' because it was shot in New Zealand and I got to visit there for the first time.
As a comedian, you're kind of like a blues musician; you have to live a little bit.
A whole generation of people that didn't know me from 'SNL' recognize me from 'Weeds' now. People recognize me once in a while and appreciate the work. It gets a little embarrassing but it's good. If you work as an accountant, you don't have people coming up to you in the streets saying, 'Hey, great job on tax statements!'
Workers insist that they are not disgruntled. They are very gruntled.
I'm Kevin Nealon, and that's news to me.
Don't play dead with a vulture. That's exactly what they want.
I learned how to draw from being bored in school. I would doodle on the margins of my paper.
It is a great rush to come up with a joke that gets a good response from the audience. It's gold!
I was born in St. Louis; I lived there for three weeks and then my father graduated from St. Louis University, so we all got in the car and split. I don't really remember much. I grew up in Connecticut most of my life and then four years in Germany. My father worked for a helicopter company, so we went over there.
I loved working on 'Happy Gilmore' because I love to travel to new places and we got to go to British Columbia. Any Adam Sandler film is fun to work on because it is a reunion of the boys club of guys that have worked together in the past.
I look back at 'Saturday Night Live' and I think, some people didn't like me doing 'Weekend Update.' Who cares? A lot of people did. When you're reaching that many people, you're not going to have everybody like you.
The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining.
If you want a transcript of tonight's program, get a pen and write down everything I said.
Curb Your Enthusiasm, is not so much about Hollywood. It's more about Larry's weaknesses.
Never wear a red t-shirt to Target. I enjoy helping people, but not every two minutes.
I'm probably more of a stand-up comedian than an actor.
When I was very young, I didn't really write my own material. I just memorized other peoples' jokes. Established comics, like Stanley Myron Handelman and people like that. And then, for every comic, you develop your own style after a while.
When you discover that you are going to have a child, it stirs up memories of your own childhood.
I became a vegetarian after I became aware of factory farming and slaughterhouses and the torture and inhumane handling of all these animals.
When a show has been on for so long, you lose fans, you gain fans. I remember this from 'Saturday Night Live.'
I think people really appreciate clever commercials, as do I. I think they're very entertaining. You just have to wade through all the garbage. That's one of the reasons people watch the Super Bowl. A lot of them watch it to see the commercials and not the actual game.
If people can't deal with their problems, they numb themselves a little bit.
A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.
