It's hard to know where your thoughts come from, especially when you have a thirst for material because you need it professionally.
— Louis C. K.
I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through.
I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die.
Sometimes I try to take a nap before shows. That clears my head.
I'm not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad.
Pushing the envelope' sort of implies that you're inside the envelope with everyone else, and you're trying to find the edges on the outsides.
There are people that really live by doing the right thing, but I don't know what that is, I'm really curious about that. I'm really curious about what people think they're doing when they're doing something evil, casually. I think it's really interesting, that we benefit from suffering so much, and we excuse ourselves from it.
When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore.
It's more fun to experience things when you don't know what's going to happen.
I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of.
It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me.
A lot of TV is put together by teams, by writing staffs and several different directors. It's a great, very smart way to make television. It's worked for however long TV's been around.
Life is full of horrible mistakes.
I've always loved boxing. It's something I've always been extremely excited about.
I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'
There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it.
I love comedians. They're my community.
I do actually use a boxing trainer when I train for stand-up.
A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much.
When I read things like the foundations of capitalism are shattering, I'm like, maybe we need that. Maybe we need some time where we're walking around with a donkey with pots clanging on the sides.
I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to you?'
If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are.
Some things I think are very conservative, or very liberal. I think when someone falls into one category for everything, I'm very suspicious. It doesn't make sense to me that you'd have the same solution to every issue.
Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I approach it.
When I got divorced, I thought 'Well, there goes my act.'
I never viewed money as being 'my money' I always saw it as 'the money.' It's a resource. If it pools up around me then it needs to be flushed back out into the system.
I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.
I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed.
You can't direct without a good crew.
I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at a time. It's like old computers that had small memory chips, they would do something called swapping, where they would fill the memory with one task, do it and get it out.
I don't have a room full of writers pitching ideas. It's just me out of my head.
To me the goal of comedy is to just laugh, which is a really high hearted thing, visceral connection and reaction.
I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do.
Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance.
I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that.
My ex-wife, she really didn't like the material that I did. And that's something I regret, that I wasn't more careful about making sure that she was O.K. with it. I just sort of didn't ask. So that's how that goes.
I could never sit down and write jokes.
If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real life, if somebody punches you in the eye, it doesn't make any noise and your eye is swollen for, like, six months. It's a nightmare to get punched in the eye.
I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward.
Everything that people say is testable.
I definitely look at my body and I go: 'Yuck.'
I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.
Every day starts, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery. I open my eyes, remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go, 'Ugh'.
Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.
For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money.
Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.
People get successful and they start saying, 'Well of course I am! I was chosen! I'm special!' No, you're not.
I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work.
I would rather be with my kids than anybody else.
Comedians work great as actors because they're good under pressure. With a lot of actors, you have to make them feel like everything's going really well to get a good performance out of them. But, if you have a comedian on the set, you can tell them, 'Hey, you really are screwing this up,' and then they just get better.
