There's no such thing as a cheap laugh.
— Louis C. K.
People don't talk to me on airplanes.
America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out.
I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you're good at.
Perception is created and twisted so quickly.
I like all ladies of all different ages.
My kids are really easy. I often worry that they're too easy to deal with. They're really nice people.
It's easier to cancel a show if it's expensive.
I'm not a political comedian. That's just not what I do.
When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.'
When you're young as a comic, you don't have a lot of leverage.
I like pressure. Pressure doesn't make me crack. It's enabling. I eat pressure, and there might be times when I get a bad feeling in my gut that this might be too much, but you feel pressure when you're not doing something, you know?
I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from.
Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on.
I'm enjoying the work while I get it right now.
I thought about going to NYU film school - that was this ideal to me. But I didn't make any kind of grades in high school.
I wish I could know everything ever, like that would be my wish - that's what I hope heaven is, that they tell you who shot JFK and all that stuff.
A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody.
I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor.
I don't think it makes any sense to try to get anyone to not talk.
A lot of the struggle I had with movies is I really loved moments and tones and feelings in a scene, and I loved creating those, but I never really had great stories to string them together.
There's two kinds of press that you get when you put out a TV show: The reviews, and the people that just decide what the reviews say.
If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't.
I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is.
To me, art supplies are always okay to buy.
The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to.
There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I hate you.' But to me, it's more interesting to say, 'What is this person like and how do they really think?'
Some entertainers don't pay attention to what's going on around them.
There's a woman I see who's not my therapist, but she's like an old friend who's a therapist in profession. She lets me talk to her like a therapist once in a while, and she does a great thing. Whenever I have a big dilemma, like this is a big problem in my life, she always says, 'Wow, you're going to have to figure that out.'
Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.
I don't know what it's like to be an actor, where if your show gets canceled, really you're just a bum.
The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I'm not telling you what it's about and I'm not telling you who's in it.
Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff.
Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people.
Anytime you see a bit where some stranger does something to me, it's me.
You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience.
I don't believe in this idea of, 'That's hate speech, stop it.'
I grew up watching all these crazy movies, European movies and stuff, and I guess that I always laughed at things that were a little more offbeat.
The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness.
When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us.
I don't have a brother in real life.
You know, the people who do indie film and decide who gets those little budgets? They're mean, man. They're cold and very cool-oriented.
It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.
Whenever I've encountered a Christian saying, 'Why don't you stop talking like that so I can hear you?' I think, 'Well you're the one putting the earmuffs on, but I wish you could hear me because I like you.'
To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me.
Gay men have to go through something to own their - who they are. They get beat up. They get ostracized. Whatever they go through, if they survive it, they come out very confident people.
When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes.
You can't cancel my stand-up tours. It's impossible. There's too many separate bosses. There is no 'bosses.'
Oh, I love stand-up.
I was an awkward kid.
