I've tried to do away with lying in my life in the last few years, but it's hard.
— Louis C. K.
Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.
When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep.
If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.
I've had soccer moms come up and tell me they can relate when I say that I want to throw my baby in the trash.
