Being a 'good man' is something you do, not something you are.
— Luvvie Ajayi
Find me someone who is Nigerian who is always on time for things that aren't work-related, and I will find you a Tyrese quote that makes perfect sense. They might exist, but they sure are rare.
Unless life is one giant rap battle, you don't need to freestyle your way to success.
Doubt has purpose sometimes. If we don't think our work is good enough, we strive to do better and be better. Which then makes us better because practice does just that.
'Imposter Syndrome' is the feeling of wearing a mask and playing a role that one does not feel at home in. It is when you feel like you or your work is a fluke and that you're a dwarf amongst giants. Many of us have this, especially when we're in some sort of creative industry.
I need to sleep more. The 'sleep when I die' mantra is not cute.
As a freelancer, as a writer, and running my company, people have always tried to negotiate me down. Some might think that I might accept their offers because they think I don't have many options. The truth is, I always have options available to me.
I think it's important for service to be a part of your life instead of an option. It's awesome to make it a point to do something that's gonna make the world slightly better than you left it.
That's one thing brands are understanding is, I'm the blogger who's not writing about fashion. I'm not writing about beauty. I'm not writing about gossip. I'm not writing about politics. I'm writing about all of that. I'm the person they can come to if they just want to reach people who care and have their fingers on pop culture.
I wasn't the only person out there writing about pop culture and race, but I stayed true to my voice, and people felt attracted to that. They said it felt like they were having brunch with their best friend.
I have no love for those who consider themselves 'good people' but stand idly by as the world crumbles around them. It's not enough to personally not do damage. If you're present as someone else destroys what's around you and you do nothing, you helped them.
Shoes are my love language, and women love shoes.
In my workshops for young adults, the most important thing I emphasize is that anything posted online, no matter how private they think it is, is permanent.
Being conscious of Global Blackness is knowing that we are not an island of our struggle but a nation of our triumphs. That's blackness to me.
In a world that wants women to whisper, I choose to yell.
People need to seek out some diversity in their life. One of my friends is a pig farmer in Michigan, and even she has black friends. She's in the middle of nowhere - the closest airport is, like, three hours away - and she manages to connect with black people.
The most glaring aspect of white privilege is that when someone is described neutrally - without indicating color or ethnicity - more often than not, people will assume that the person is white. That assumption indicates an uncomfortable truth: in our society, whiteness determines humanity.
Good friends are often our lifelines. Mine have seen me through heartbreak, through the deaths of loved ones, and through that phase in college when I was obsessed with denim jumpsuits and matching fingerless gloves.
There are two types of people in this world: people who can be on time and Nigerians. I am in the latter group, and I confess to my inability to arrive anywhere punctually.
I am a firm believe in the power of dreams, because the world is basically one giant realization of people's collective dreams come true. We need to dream to aspire to do something that keeps us striving. But those dreams and ideas and wants mean nothing without execution, which doesn't usually happen without a plan.
Never underestimate the power of confidence. If you believe you're the dopest thing walking, you might convince people of the same just because you're so headstrong about it as a fact.
Working 16-hour days to ensure that I can pay my bills has been a bulk of my entrepreneurship life. And on days when I don't, odds are I'm running to the airport.
Sticking with your craft goes a long way in ensuring that you'll be successful.
When people say things like, 'Oh, I can't find black or brown whatever position it is,' I wanted to be clear that we exist in droves. When I tell people, 'Hey, share your work, share your LinkedIn,' it's with the ultimate goal that somebody on that thread gets hired, or something positive happens.
If a brand will shy away from you because you dare to say that black lives matter, that's probably not a brand you want to work with anyway.
Do one thing today that scares you - and you already know what that is! - and go do it. Even if you just make one step toward it, it will help you look at the world differently.
Being quiet is comfortable. Keeping things the way they've been is comfortable. And all comfort has done is maintain the status quo.
When I set out to write 'I'm Judging You,' I wanted to create something that was both timely and timeless. But I didn't know how timely this book would be until we, the people of the United States, elected a walking Cheeto to the highest office in the land on November 8, 2016.
Humor is this great equalizer. It gets people's defenses down, and once they're down, you can discuss some really difficult topics.
I am of the bridge generation that remembers life before social media permeated everything but cannot imagine life without it now.
I knew I was Yoruba and Nigerian for the first 9 years of my life. I did not become conscious of my color and all that came with it until I moved to the United States with my family.
I could write a whole other book called 'I'm Judging You, America!' I still might.
Chicago's one of the most segregated cities in America. Everybody lives in their own silos and vacuums.
Being able to live without having to be defined by your skin color is the hallmark of privilege.
Toddlers are couthless. Lord. They are so couth-deficient. They'll tell you, 'Those shoes look like my nightmares' without a second thought because your feelings don't matter to them.
What I sacrificed as I pursued my dreams was my comfort, not the lives of other people who looked to me to stay afloat. That alone freed me to take more risks, which did pay off in dividends. Having a safety net is an asset that most people do not have.
I wish people were realer in talking about how leaps of faith don't have to be taken without at least looking down first.
I am not the best. I don't have to be. I am enough.
Fire Yourself. Outsource some of your life. Because you know what won't be cute on a tombstone? 'Her grind was impeccable, and she did it all by herself.'
You can't just set the vision, take a nap, and not keep working on making your vision happen. Your intention has to be backed by work.
I've reached the point where people text me randomly for favors, like, 'Hey can I pick your brain?' People I haven't talked to in years are asking for favors. It's like, 'Wow people really got some nerve.'
If we don't challenge each other to use our platforms for better than our niches or what our quote-unquote brand is, what are we doing as influencers? If we can't activate our audiences at the times it's important or needed, then what do we have these platforms for?
Under promise and over deliver. People will be pleasantly surprised that you gave more than they expected. And remember that there is always room for us to be better and do better. That's what I am calling for. Not just everybody else - myself, too.
Fear has a very concrete power of keeping us from doing and saying the things that are our purpose.
You can be tweeting strangers and saying, 'Don't say that,' but are you saying that to your friends? How about your mom? Your boyfriend at the dinner table who says something homophobic? If you're not saying the same things in person that you're saying online, then what are your tweets doing?
People are prospering from being unapologetically offensive, trite, and stupid. And we are tweeting ourselves into high blood pressure and ulcers trying to tell them to do better... Being a pompous nut biscuit is now a publicity strategy, and I don't know what we can do to end the madness.
Through my school years, I learned more about slavery, anti-black racism, and oppression in the U.S., and my blackness could no longer be an afterthought. I started wearing it proudly, and as my consciousness deepened, so did my love for black folks.
People use the guise of art, and artistic expression, to do all kinds of hateful things. It's like Trump and everybody else using the guise of humor to say hateful things, the excuse being, 'I was just being funny.'
I feel like my career is to speak truth to power, and a lot of times, that sounds like troublemaking. If speaking truth is troublemaking, then yes, I will consider myself a professional at that.
I want people to see my color and my culture written all over me, because I am proud of the skin I'm in. It is an important part of my identity. What I don't want them to do is mistreat me because of it.
