I've been adapting ever since my oldest had her first play date with a boy, and I was like, 'That's not normal,' because I came from the old school. Now boys sleep over at my house. It doesn't matter which girl, which age.
— Pamela Adlon
Being a mother is the ultimate training ground for anything.
I don't like to let people know where I'm going to end up, and I don't personally like to know where I'm going.
Sometimes when I'm in the editing room and there's a new person there, like a music editor or a post person that I don't really know, I'm like, 'Oh, you shouldn't be in here. This is too personal - you can't watch this.' But then I'm like, hey dummy, you're about to show this to the whole world.
I think, over the years, the way my daughters' friends have embraced me has definitely made my daughters appreciate me more. Of course they take me for granted because I'm the one who's there, but listen, I don't want to be 'the cool mom' who lets things get out of control.That's not my lookout.
I've always been kind of a mom. I was out of my house when I was 18, and my friends used to call me 'mother' and 'care unit.'
I learned so much from the writing on 'King of the Hill', which I thought was just magnificent. They would let real moments happen in this animated, one-dimensional world. I feel like I've been in school this whole time.
I'm somebody who, if I went to the grocery store, and one of them wasn't with me, I would feel guilty. I would be like, 'I shouldn't be doing anything without them, anytime, ever.' A very codependent way of thinking. Also, motherhood is hugely about guilt.
I'm more of somebody who'll bend over backwards for people and, you know, wait at the back of the line until everybody's taken care of. That's really my nature.
I've been working since I'm 9 years old.
Cooking is the best occupational therapy for me. And when I cook, everybody comes to eat. It's the greatest thing.
They would call me 'The Cleaner' because I would replace boys who were real adolescents, and their voices completely changed, and they couldn't do the voices anymore.
Sometimes when I'm in the car driving, I scream at the top of my lungs.
'Roseanne' was massive for me. I adored that show. I mean, the show was this couple who weren't cookie-cutter, and they were sexy, and we know that they like to have sex with each other, and they flirted, and then they ragged on their kids, and their kids ragged on them, and it was such a realistic depiction.
You've gotta leave enough space for your actors to bring stuff to the table and whatever the weather's doing that day or what the light's like. Things can shift, and you have to be malleable. Every day is a different feeling and a change.
I try to direct myself the way I direct the other actors who come on my show.
Before 'Lucky Louie,' nobody would ever cast me to play a mom or a wife; nobody ever saw me in that role, which is weird, since that's who I really am.
The only people on this planet that can make me feel like my feelings are hurt are my kids.
When you hit your 40s, you're walking around, and you realize, 'Oh, my God, men don't look at me anymore.' Or sometimes you can feel really good, and then you look in the mirror, and you're like, 'Oh, Jesus, that's my face now!' But I have tell you that something happened and shifted inside of me.
I want to create opportunities for women, of course.
I never want to waste a frame. I always look and see what I've got.
I love that, 'mommy-shaming.' When I was a new mom, I was obsessed with how I was being perceived and trying to fit in as a mom, going to mommy-and-me classes and things like that, and never quite measuring up to 'the real moms,' the 'robot moms,' as I called them.
I've always been interested in how other people live their lives, which is why it's important to engage fully even in painful times. And out of that, I get to laugh.
I learned so much from my life as an actor, as a kid actor through being an adult actor, and then becoming a writer and producer and doing animation.
It's a hilarious part of my past, all the sitcoms I did in the '80s. And then all the animation - animation is amazing. It's really been great.
I always tell young people when I'm trying to encourage them, 'You have certain windows in your life, and you have to take advantage of it. You gotta jump through because they will shut on you.'
For me, running a set and directing has been the most rewarding thing of my life and a happy surprise, because it was never really on my radar.
I get up at 6 A.M., and sometimes I make lunch for my two youngest kids. Usually my oldest sleeps late, and I get my kids out the door to school. For years, it was me just doing all of that and then driving to a carpool or this or that.
There's something in my voice tonally that's like a boy, so I started being able to do boy voices and to be known as having a naturalistic boy tone without pushing it.
I am a single mom of three girls, and I'm getting through that. If I can get through that, I can direct a whole season of television that I star in.
If I'm doing a voice-over session, like animation or something, and I'm doing three different voices, you've gotta separate them. You've gotta find the different places and do your different things.
I can't imagine bringing in somebody else to direct my show. Wouldn't that be funny, if next season I had, like, Michael Bay come in and direct 'Better Things'? I wonder what that would be like?
I like people to have their own reaction and their own take on things. And I don't like to shove my - what I want them to feel or think - down their throats. I like people to say, 'What was that about?' or 'Why did that happen?' And so, any reactions are welcome.
I went from buying my own condominium and a car for myself when I was 17 on 'The Facts of Life' to not being able to pay my rent. I was at the unemployment office all the time. I had to sell my record collection just to make ends meet. And then I started getting these voice-over jobs.
Wouldn't it be funny if I were a total nightmare? If I just shot 21-hour days and went over budget? But, you know, it's something I'm really careful about, because I am a mom, and also, I'm an actor. I'm a pleaser: I don't want to take up too much of people's time.
Literally, FX is like, 'How can we foster your vision?' My vision is pretty much taking pictures of the way I see my life.
I took my daughters to see Plastic Ono Band at the Orpheum in L.A. in 2012. It was an amazing experience because she is such a revolutionary artist. Everybody was like, 'Oh, it's Yoko, it's such a joke.' But it's no joke what she did, visually and musically. It's incredible.
I want to be a strong, safe mom who my kids also want to be around.
Everything that happens to me in a day enhances my parenting.
When I saw 'Louie' and 'Girls', I was blown out of the water. They were fearless portrayals of real life. Everyone has a different experience.
I don't usually say 'working mom' because I think all moms are working moms. I feel like that diminishes moms. People should say 'working dad' as opposed to working moms.
It's spelled, like, S-E-R-G. I always thought it would be funny if I called my son 'Sir.' Like calling your daughter 'Ma'am,' or something like that.
I want to elevate the mundane.
I'm trying to keep my days very efficient, and I keep my set really tight. Every single corner is active, and everybody gets to thrive in the job that they do. I don't waste people's time.
My life is extraordinary because it's so normal, but it's so 'extra' for some reason.
You can go in and out of love and still love somebody, you know? You may not like them so much on the day, but I can tell you that I don't think I've ever been so vulnerable or been so angry in my life - like, those two emotions feel so hurt or so enraged - as when you're dealing with your kids.
The first thing that I ever made was a documentary that I shot... in downtown L.A. about a group of homeless people.
I'm very influenced by documentary filmmaking and independent filmmaking, by a lot of noir and films from the '40s. Those are my favorite. And then, filmmaking from the '70s is a big influence for me.
I just like to keep things small and subtle and authentic, and ground everything in reality. So that is something that I feel is my strength as a director and I try to achieve as an actor.
Everybody hates you when you're the best, and everybody hates you when you're the worst.
