There are elements of comedy that can be competitive and back stab-y, but one of the underreported sides is that we love each other and help each other, kind of like a messed up extended family.
— Pete Holmes
I think a lot of pain in people's lives comes from not being open and honest about what they really think, what they really feel, what they like, what they don't like.
Ideally, a good pastor wants to empower a congregation to the point where they don't need him. You want everyone to leave feeling better.
The idea of saying 'the handsome Pete Holmes' is preposterous.
People like Bill Burr and Jim Gaffigan and Zach Galifianakis and Sarah Silverman - they were all amazing and helpful to me.
Joy is in learning to say yes to what is and to surrender into flow with what is, even when it's what you don't want.
I'm down with Jesus, sweet Jeez, sweet baby Jeez.
Life is temporary. We die one day. Live it up!
Starting the podcast was an experiment. I wouldn't say I was very private, but I was probably as private as the average person.
I like squirm-laughing.
There's nothing you can do to increase or decrease the love that God has for you, but there are things you can do that increase or decrease your awareness of that love. That's certainly been my experience.
'Time to Move On' is my favorite song.
I think what people respond to is someone being who they actually are.
I went and saw Letterman when I was 15, and that had a profound impact on me.
I love Jon Stewart.
The only Batman that doesn't need parodying is Adam West, but everybody else is fair game.
Every human being can relate to wanting their thoughts and their feelings to be accepted and rewarded and validated. So in that way, a stand-up is similar to almost any profession. It's very simply just someone who wants to be heard and live authentically and express themselves.
I'm super happy to say that it's not that hard to write bad stand-up. I guess the trick is to write bad stand-up that sounds like you're trying to be good.
Comedians really are like a species. That's not to be exclusive. Anyone can kind of become one. You have to pay your dues, though.
When I started, I was very deliberate about making friends with people like John Mulaney who were really funny and wanted to go up and do as many open mics as I did.
Dorks are not exempt from bad behaviour.
In real life, T. J. Miller is one of my best friends, and I'll maybe see him for two or three days in a row, and then I won't see him for four months. That's just how our lives are.
Audiences sometimes emit these weird frequencies that make you think you've weirded them out.
I call myself 'Christ-leaning,' but that's primarily psychological.
I'm a comedian. Comedians are supposed to be jaded, cynical, angry people. But I'm not: I'm a silly, silly fun boy.
I didn't like talking about my divorce. I think I viewed that as something that was embarrassing or a failure.
Science would like to tell us that people laugh because of the benign violation theory, but comedy doesn't have hard rules.
When I grew up, my model of God was like a lifeguard: I knew He loved me, but He blew his whistle a lot.
If I go out and do a set, there's a good chance that I'll watch another comedian. I'll think - not necessarily their words, but oftentimes the message that's behind the words - the sort of belief that their unspokenly advocating, well, sometimes that's offensive.
When you do stand-up, it's so autonomous: I can say anything.
I love alpha males.
What people respond to is intimacy and regularity.
I love Batman to death.
I think it can be easy at a certain point to take it for granted that you can kind of perform whatever you want.
Losing your faith is an essential part of having a three-dimensional, vivid, vibrant faith.
There's something about a podcast that feels like two people in a closet with the lights off.
The beautiful thing about stand-up advice is that it applies to anybody, any gender, any race, any age. The best thing you can do - everybody will tell you - is get on stage as much as you can. I would add to that: get on stage as much as you can - with the people you admire.
When my wife left me, in real life, T. J. Miller was like, 'I'm shooting a movie in Pittsburgh. I'll fly you out and get you a hotel room,' and I spent a week with him.
I disagree with the idea that everything happens for a reason.
I am a comedian. My brain is critical - it's overthinking - but you can find ways to turn it down and realize that's not who you really are.
I think my mom recognized that I liked people to be happy. I like people to get along. And I like to be a peacemaker. And I liked the church. So she was like, 'You should be a youth pastor.'
The underlying goal of comedy is feeling not-alone.
When I used to work the road, I remember I used to ask myself in the mirror, literally, like in a movie, back when I was not very good at all, I'd say, 'What's it like being the greatest comedian in the world?'
Every performer I talk to will, with different words, talk about the sanctity of a good standup show, how it can really feel spiritual. When everybody is laughing, fixed on the same thing, you feel like you transcend yourself.
What I don't think I knew when I was young was that 'losing your faith' is actually part of the plan for a lot of people - that it's actually maybe the most beautiful and graceful thing that can happen. The mystery of God can handle all of it. It can handle all of your thoughts, all of your doubts, all of your folly. It's all in the game.
I was raised evangelical, so if you want to get offended, let's get offended. I have a master's degree in being offended.
When you think about a festival from a comedian's perspective, it has to do with who else does it - that's number one. The second consideration - and this is kind of crazy - is: 'What's the food like? What is the town like? Is it walkable? Is it easy to get around?'
I'm not the hugest comic book person, but I do love superheroes.
I think a good comedian was probably bullied a little bit. Probably felt doughy and oblong and rhombus-shaped and strange and a little bit of an outsider, and then learned the healing qualities of comedy.
There's something about taking emotional and career and relationship humiliations, writing them, acting them out again, but then redeeming them in some way.
