A waiter at the hotel kept telling me that Cape Town is just like a European city, but it's not like that at all. It doesn't feel safe, and I didn't really go out at night.
— Robert Webb
We have a family holiday once a year, usually abroad, but that's it. I feel I should have holidays for my family's sake, but I'm not that adventurous.
Parenting girls makes you quite gender-conscious - it's almost impossible to fight the power of pink. It's not such a terrible thing to want to be a princess when you're five, but it would be nice if there were some other options.
I was the youngest of three brothers by five years, so I spent most of my childhood playing alone, being Zorro or some other superhero, doing Lego, watching telly and riding my bike.
I get recognised a fair bit. It goes up when 'Peep Show' or the sketch show is on the telly or when we're doing loads of interviews.
It was quite an honour when 'New Woman' magazine voted me 88th sexiest man in the world. I think I was one in front of David Cameron.
One thing about the fantasy dinner party idea that no one considers is whether these people are going to get on. I would say John McEnroe and Ian McEwan, but what would they have to say to each other?
I've been called funny. I assume my wife thinks I'm funny. But generally, if you bumped into me and said hello, I would say hello back, politely. And that would be it.
The strength of 'Peep Show' has always been that that it's quite traditional, but it's obviously presented in a very new way.
I'm troubled by how much I like Rowan Williams. I think it reveals character flaws in myself that I'd rather not think about. The softly spoken soon-to-be-former Archbishop of Canterbury is my secret crush, my weird pash, and my guilty pleasure.
When I was 15, if Stephen Fry had advised me to trim my eyebrows with a Flymo, I would have given it serious consideration.
On 'EastEnders,' if someone gets surprising news on the phone, the scene ends with them looking at their handset in amazement. No one in real life does that.
UKIP trades in the language of fear and division; it seeks power in order to reject responsibility.
No, feminism isn't 'over.' We need it not only to challenge injustice but because the whole gender expectations thing is bad for men, too.
My mother died when I was 17, and I moved in with my dad to make a 12-month pig's ear of retaking my A-levels.
Where you have 20 people who all share roughly the same educational and life experiences, they're going to come up with the same solutions to the same problems.
I don't care where you went to school. There - have I made your day? No? All right, I'll go further: I also don't care what your dad did for a living or how your mum voted. Nor do I mind whether you ate your tea in front of the telly, dinner at the kitchen table, or supper in the dining room.
I'm good at finding things to do on my own, even if it's just reading.
I'm the guy who spends 15 minutes staring out of the window wondering what to have for lunch.
Mum was an amazing parent and my best pal. The tragedy of it, really, was that she died from breast cancer just as I was becoming a man, aged 17, and we were just starting to speak as adults. She was snatched away, and it felt cruel. She made me laugh.
I had a friend at college who took being poor very personally. He started showering in the sports centre next door and said he wasn't going to pay for the hot water in our flat any more because he didn't use it. He made me and my other friend pay the bills on our own.
I did 'The Frank Skinner Show,' and they gave me a little jukebox-shaped CD player, which looks nice in the kitchen.
I don't do much to keep in trim - I try to walk places instead of driving whenever I can, but I really ought to do more.
I spend far too much on taxis. Now, if anyone suggests we get the Tube I say, 'The Tube! I'd forgotten about that.'
I'm a huge, huge fan of Chris Morris. I think he's a genius, and it is not a word I use very often. I think he's fantastic.
Religion is many things, but one of them, surely, is a way for adults to indulge in uncritical hero worship.
I'm knackered. I'm knackered all the time. My stupid, tiny children wake me up at 5:48 A.M. every single morning.
Labour is at its best when it remembers its moral fury.
The way people imagine their political leaders is, like it or not, an important factor in how they decide to vote and, indeed, whether they vote at all.
Missing out an apostrophe or two does not make you an idiot. But equating party allegiance with nationhood certainly makes you a thug. And thugs don't often notice that they're thugs, usually because they're also idiots.
I am a feminist. I don't especially care for the term, but there it is.
Slow, skinny, and an utter countryside coward: I lived in dread of nettles, spiders, and the very sound of a wasp. As a victim, I was beneath the dignity of the bullies in my year but fair game to the ones in the year below.
Very bad things follow when we kid ourselves that we're naturally rational, rather than the more humbling truth: naturally emotional.
The female characters in 'Peep Show' are not 'strong': they are idiots. As idiotic as the men.
When I was 18, I was halfway up the Eiffel Tower with my friend, Tom, when we decided to stick our heads through the railings. The gap between the railings was exactly the right size to be able to put your head through and nearly get stuck. Which is exactly what happened.
I think of myself as naturally idle. The trouble is, the 'nothing' that I do every day is not really nothing. I potter. I muck about with emails, I make coffee, I fiddle with my computer to make sure that the book I haven't started writing is perfectly synced across all platforms and devices.
My parents' marriage was already shaky when I came along. They split up when I was five, and I didn't see Dad all that often after that - four or five times a year.
I was an usher at the Lyric Theatre Hammersmith. You had to watch whatever play they had on 40 times.
Like most men, I can't say I am thrilled my hair's falling out, but then, if I really cared, I suppose I would wear a wig, get transplants, or start taking special pills, so I am obviously just putting up with it.
When I look in the mirror, I see the ageing process at full pelt, the hairline in retreat, the bags under the eyes growing and darkening, that kind of thing. I suppose it would be easier if I weren't an actor, but I am fairly philosophical about it.
I hate it when people use the word 'sorry' aggressively, as in, 'Sorry, but I hate you.' Sorry's an important word, and it shouldn't be abused.
My favorite series of 'Peep Show' is always the most recent one, which I can say with all honesty because I don't write it. It gets better and better.
Don't get me wrong - intellectual snobbery is vulgar and gauche.
Do I wake up every day and thank God that I live in 21st-century Britain? Of course not. But from time to time, I recognise it as an unfathomable privilege.
Ed Miliband is obviously a mild guy. I don't expect him to pretend to be a pugilist.
Ukippers are the kinds of fools who haven't noticed they're sleep-walking towards fascism. Many UKIP candidates are of the age when their parents fought in the Second World War.
Feminism isn't about hating men. It's about challenging the absurd gender distinctions that boys and girls learn from childhood and carry into their adult lives.
We are people, individuals comprising a variety of sexes, races, shifting sexualities and all the rest of it. Every convention that tries to reinforce this difference is a step back. Notions of gender pointlessly separate men from women, but also mothers from daughters and fathers from sons.
My childhood was as heavily gendered as any you would find in a working-class household in Lincolnshire.
We think; therefore, we often talk rubbish.
