I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
— Rodney Dangerfield
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
