I've gathered some of my close musical and comedian friends, and we're going to see if we can't bring a few laughs to these soldiers, raise some money, and hopefully lift their spirits. I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
— Ron White
I was a little one-trick pony. I do what I've always done. That's really where my best stuff comes from. I don't know how it happens. It just happens.
I don't like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that's the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don't do a ton of it.
I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
I'm not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you'll pay late.
Any time someone achieves success before they've earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.
Don't bring your kids to my show, and I won't come to your house and cuss.
Movies are boring. It's like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It's just horrible. Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it's 18 hours of doing not a thing.
TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.
I've asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don't understand it. But I don't understand a lot of things.
I've been married a few times. I'm not good at it.
If I'm in a town for very long, usually I'll work out in the comedy club just to keep my chops or work out the beats on new stuff.
If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
Somebody the other day had a review, called me 'America's reprobate.' And I don't even know what that means, but I kinda like the way it sounds.
I don't do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil's show. He's a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn't give me any advice. He doesn't give solicited advice.
As a small child, I could watch anything happen and tell a story, and it was funny.
My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I'm very 'preacher-ish' on stage, not by intent but because that's where I learned to talk in front of people.
You can tell on-stage when a joke's starting to lose its pop. It doesn't mean people don't want to hear it anymore; it means I don't want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they've never heard.
I want my fans to feel like we're always in touch. Because without 'em, I wouldn't be able to do any of this.
I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it.
A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That's just like heaven to me. I'm a simple man.
People used to say I'm regional, but I'm not... We all have the same human condition.
If I see someone out there mouthing the words to a bit, I'm not having fun.
I'm not willing to drag my fans down a road I don't believe in. That's just my one little principle. I've only got one, and that's it.
There's not a pill you can take; there's not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
I don't think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.
I write all of my material. It's all me.
There's no such thing as a hit joke.
I just try to keep it fresh without sacrificing funny.
I've got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called 'Jayne Mansfield's Car.' I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.
I always found that the closer I got to who I really am, on stage, the more they responded to it.
When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable - onstage, talking, making 'em laugh and listen to the weirdest things. I liked being the center of attention.
My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I've been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don't really look outside for stories.
I was always a funny guy. I don't think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn't a funny guy when they were young.
Let's face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
If you become famous and don't have a live show to back it up, they're not going to pay you any money.
The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.
I've been offered starring roles in horrible movies, but I just didn't want to do it. I don't see why you would.
Pace, rhythm and timing. Pace, rhythm and timing is what it's about. The content's got to be great, but then it's got to be delivered. It's a tricky thing to do, and it takes a lot of work.
People, when they go on stage, tend to be animated and try to force things out instead of relaxing and bringing it in.
Vegas is famous for a lot of things, and bad marriages are one of them. Margo and I are proof that you can make this work. It just takes a little effort.
All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could do besides comedy.
Comedy is great because there's no overhead.
I write these shows one joke at a time. There's no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there's not continuity.
My show is more storytelling now than it's ever been. It's what I'm good at.
I have a very fun life. I don't recommend it for anybody else, but it sure has been fun for me.
