I had, like, 11 jobs. I've been fired 11 times! 'Cause I'm not cut for that. You know, I was a great employee, man. Everybody loved me coming to work - I'm singing, tellin' jokes on the assembly line. I was miserable, man. I was dying. I was dying.
— Steve Harvey
My color's not a crutch. See, funny crosses a lot of color barriers.
If you cook something on the show, and I don't like it, I'm going to tell you. I don't understand how you could watch any of these morning shows, and everything everybody cooks is absolutely delicious. Are you kidding me, man?
I pay attention to every minute of the day.
When you're happy at home, you can make a lot of things happen.
All men can and will change. But there's only one woman we're going to change for.
I think that we, as the African-American men in hip-hop, we have a greater responsibly because we have the ears of so many millions of our young people. And they listenin'.
I just believe if you don't believe in God, then where is your moral barometer? That's just me talking. You can believe what you want to believe.
You've got to be in a bad relationship to really understand what a great one is.
God has given me a life far beyond anything I ever dreamed about. God is, man, God is something else man.
Every day, President Obama sends a beautiful message about how we should treat our women based on how he treats his wife. When people went after his wife during the campaign, he took a stand.
I'm not a good mother at all.
To be No. 1 on the 'New York Times' best-seller list, well, that's alarming. Having been a stand-up comedian, I think it's surprising to a lot of people that I had the insight I had.
People see me laughing and telling jokes, but they had no idea after the show was over, I had no joy in my life, in my heart.
You've got to quit lowering your standards. Set your requirements up front so when a guy hooks you, he has to know this is business.
You can take lessons to become almost anything: flying lessons, piano lessons, skydiving lessons, acting lessons, race car driving lessons, singing lessons. But there's no class for comedy. You have to be born with it. God has to give you this gift.
My mother was a Sunday school teacher. So I am a byproduct of prayer. My mom just kept on praying for her son.
I won an amateur night, October 8th, 1985. I went to work the next day and quit my job.
I take my brand very seriously.
I never in my life saw myself as a game show host. I don't want to be a traffic cop.
You can't go forward and backwards at the same time.
From the time I was taught how to drive, I was taught how to behave when I'm stopped.
My marriage to Marjorie is the most rewarding thing that ever happened to me. She gave me a life and a relationship that I didn't know existed.
Hip-hop is a beautiful thing. I think that the music genre itself has created more millionaires than any other music genre before it, especially in our community.
We all think that this relationship thing is a game out here. All I'm saying to women is, 'Okay. If it's a game, here are the rules that we play by.'
God has positioned me just this way to be just like I am, to say what I say how I say it.
One of the biggest misconceptions that a woman has is that a man has to accept her the way she is. No, we don't. I don't know who told you that. We like the bright and shiny. If you stop wearing the makeup, stop putting on nail polish, stop wearing high heels, you'll lose us.
My father instilled in me to take care of my family. Show up even when you don't want to show up.
You have nothing if you're texting a guy in a relationship. We can text six women a minute. We can text it and push 'reply all.' I mean, since we're lying, we might as well lie to everybody.
I think there are so many books out there written on relationships and romance that women are the authors of. How can women know exactly how men think? And there are so many guys out there with relationship books who are just not telling the truth. They have shaded parts.
I ain't no author, man... my writing skills are not of 'New York Times' best-seller quality, trust and believe it ain't. My vocabulary ain't.
I tell jokes for a check; I'm on TV for a check.
I'd have to say I'm most proud of my mentoring camp that I do in Dallas every year for one hundred boys from single-parent homes. I was raised by a mother who was a Sunday school teacher and a father who worked hard. Together they taught me to give back.
The first time I saw my wife, Marjorie, I was doing stand-up in Memphis, and she was sitting in the front row. Afterward, I walked up and said, 'Ma'am, I'm going to marry you one day.' And 15 years later, I did.
I'm going to take this God-given gift of being funny, and I'm going to spread it out like peanut butter on everything I do.
As always, whenever I'm contacted by the White House, I'm just humbled.
You've got to be vulnerable when you're talking to kids. There's nothing worse than some adult standing up there just talking down to some kid. You can't work that way.
I got married for the wrong reasons. I was tired of being alone. I have to own that. It was me, not her.
I sit my three sons down and say, 'Listen to me. When the police stop you, immediately comply. Don't walk away, don't smart-mouth; get your hands up and get down on the ground.' If you're not black, you might not have to have that conversation, but I go over and over it with them because I don't want that phone call.
My calling is to help people, to teach people, to share with people, until I die. I can never stop doing that. I can't, and I don't want to.
I never say 'nagging.' I think that 'nagging' is a term that men created to get women to pipe down some. But, it's a trap that we've created. We created several terms for women to back you down. Nagging means to stop asking me questions, then we get away with more. I think it's a term men created.
The Lord saved my soul.
I'm just a living witness that you can be an imperfect soldier and still be in the army fighting for God Almighty. Don't you think you got to be perfect 'cause I ain't.
I tell my boys not to play rough with their younger sister. I try to teach them what I know already: You're never going to win an argument with a girl, so just let her have what she wants!
If you'd asked me then if I saw how big 'The Steve Harvey Morning Show' was going to be, I couldn't tell you. But I knew I could reach people not as a character but as Steve Harvey, because although I tell jokes for a living, I've also lived, and I think I can relate to you more than you know.
I tell people I'm a stand-up comedian two hours a week. The rest of the time, I'm somebody's husband, I'm somebody's father. I'm a man. I take great pride in that.
I know how men think when they're not responding to questions in a clinical study.
I don't want people to see me fall. I mean, I got enough people cheering for me to fall now... The Internet has created some amazing place for evil to exist, you dig?
There has been nothing more impactful on my life and meaningful to me than the introduction of Christ. That, hands down, blows away every joke I've ever written.
I don't think it's cool for people to say, 'You shouldn't reference God because I don't believe that, and I don't want to hear it.' Well, there's a lot of stuff I don't believe that I still gotta hear.
