When one woman found out I had multiple sclerosis, she said to me, 'My heart bleeds for you.' I said to her, 'Well, my heart bleeds for you, because you're an idiot.'
— Teri Garr
My daughter couldn't wake me up, so they called 911. They rushed me to the hospital. They drilled a hole in my head and wrapped a coil around my brain. I was unconscious for a week, and I was in rehab for two months - couldn't walk, couldn't talk. Now I've relearned everything. I'm so happy.
I don't let Molly watch much television. The only stations I let her watch are PBS and the Disney Channel. The cartoons on the other stations are too violent and filled with obnoxious commercials.
A chiropractor wishes he were a doctor, just like those people outside Spago wish they were actors.
Someday, I'll make the right connection with the house I'm meant to be in.
What's happening to me is I'm still happy and functioning, being able to listen to music, see good movies, read good books. What else is there that I can't, you know, I mean, I'm OK.
I think I look pretty good. And I know there are human beings my age who look the way I do. There must be stories about us - not just about people who are young and good-looking.
My agents have me in the Actors' Protection Program. It seems to be working very well. Nobody can find me.
My mother was a Rockette at Radio City.
Joan Collins was the best. She really could sort of pull it off, be really outrageous and never even flinch.
What's worse in Hollywood, being handicapped or being a woman over 50?
I was trying to work, but I noticed that people, if they had any inkling of the idea that I was sick or had MS... people shunned me. No work after that.
I thought, 'If I can't be prom queen, I can dance 'Les Sylphide.'
Being a successful Hollywood actress may be challenging, but little did I know that the very body that had always been my calling card would betray me.
I did a string of about six or seven Elvis movies, all in a row. He made all of those movies in two years' time. All of them bad. Don't quote me.
It doesn't help to contemplate how sad your life is. You have to move on.
When you're a kid, you should be a kid.
What is the difference between an actress over 50 and an actress with a disability? Nothing. They both can't find work.
I think it's critical, a sense of humor. It did help me - it does help me, continuously.
I remember some stories had a very big impact on me, like 'The Little Train That Could,' which is about the importance of not giving up, and 'Little Toot,' about a playful tugboat in the New York harbor.
I don't want to sound hoity-toity, but people told me I should watch 'Cheers' because it's very funny. So I watched it, and I just went, 'This is the great show of the universe?' To me, acting is making characters believable, not just doing jokes.
I feel ashamed of how many houses I've actually crept inside of when they were up for sale. I'm not a snoop, but I love looking and imagining.
Speed bumps, I was thinking, you know, you're driving along, everything's OK, and then there's a speed bump to go, 'Slow down.' Go over it real slowly, and you hit the pedal, and you keep going, and I just thought it was kind of a nice metaphor for life.
I get this thing every once in a while that I call 'ESS:' emergency sleep situation. I'll get like lead, really fatigued, and I can't move.
I went to North Hollywood High. I'm the original Val girl.
My father died when I was 11. He was a vaudeville comedian. He worked in one movie, 'Ladies of the Chorus,' as Marilyn Monroe's father.
If you get your foot in the door doing one kind of part, that's the kind of role they call you for. I can't say I resent it - then I would resent my whole career.
My next book's title is going to be, 'I Have One Foot in the Grave and Another on a Banana Peel.'
How come women are treated differently from men all the time? Not only handicapped people, but women - and handicapped women, forget it!
I had been nominated for an Academy Award for my performance as Sandy Lester, Dustin Hoffman's neurotic, struggling actress girlfriend, in 'Tootsie.' Under Sydney Pollack's direction, 'Tootsie' had been a runaway hit starring Dustin as an unemployed actor who pretends to be a woman in order to land a role in a soap opera.
Win or lose, star or not, you wait for your car with everyone else, and waiting for your car is a drag.
I went to physical therapy, occupational therapy, voice, every kind of therapy except mental therapy - obviously!
If you get somebody laughing - and then stick in a point about something important - they'll remember it.
Directors would tell me, 'We want you to play a character a little less complex than you are.' Yeah, sure. What they mean is, 'You're playing a dummy.'
I may not be able to run around the block anymore, but I love my life.
I go to Yosemite a lot. To get there, you fly from L.A. to Fresno and rent a car. So I know about Fresno. It looks like the entire city was built in 1946 in three months - all these low California ranch style homes. The whole city looks like that.
I loved the stories my parents and grandparents would read to me.
I talked once with Harrison Ford about Wright's houses and how impressive they are.
Please, people, don't drink and vote. We'll all pay for that.
When I was a dancer, I would see that dancers were treated like garbage. I mean like, like extras.
The whole MS stuff put the kibosh on my career. And I sort of let it go. I even have a friend who went to CBS and said, 'I want Teri Garr to be in this series,' and the head of the network said, 'Oh no, she's got MS.'
My mother was a real tough cookie. She raised the three of us, and she worked at the same time.
There's people doing whatever the hell they want and getting away with it.
I didn't tell people because I didn't want pity, and I was afraid I wouldn't get work. But others with MS need to know they are not alone. We don't have to be victims.
There are several drugs out right now that can't stop multiple sclerosis, but they can slow it way down. They also made me puff up like a balloon. So I looked horrible. I hated that.
I'd like to play something classical. I'm in the Strindberg society, and we do readings of Strindberg plays. I'd love to do Nora in 'A Doll's House.' And Chekhov. I have been working back to back on what I call 'regular jobs,' so it's hard to do plays.
The Academy not only knew I existed, they thought I was good!
If there's ever a woman who's smart, funny, or witty, people are afraid of that, so they don't write that. They only write parts for women where they let everything be steamrolled over them, where they let people wipe their feet all over them.
They drilled a hole in my head and wrapped a coil around my brain so it wouldn't bleed anymore.
I'm always like this with a new movie role. I always get super-defensive and make noises like a rooster, Maybe that's because I spent so much time as a chorus girl.
