Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too late that he's been playing with two queens all along.
— Terry Pratchett
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree.
In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Dickens, as you know, never got round to starting his home page.
Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care.
'Educational' refers to the process, not the object. Although, come to think of it, some of my teachers could easily have been replaced by a cheeseburger.
I mean, I wouldn't pay more than a couple of quid to see me, and I'm me.
I think perhaps the most important problem is that we are trying to understand the fundamental workings of the universe via a language devised for telling one another when the best fruit is.
I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.
Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. Of course, I could be wrong.
He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting 'All the Gods are bastards.'
Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.
'Discworld' is taking something that you know is ridiculous and treating it as if it is serious, to see if something interesting happens when you do so.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it.
Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.
The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.
If it wasn't for the fun and money, I really don't know why I'd bother.
Eight years involved with the nuclear industry have taught me that when nothing can possible go wrong and every avenue has been covered, then is the time to buy a house on the next continent.
Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them.
I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did.
This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.
I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.
Freedom without limits is just a word.
They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.
Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.
I became a journalist at 17. A few hours later, I saw my first dead body, which was somewhat... colourful. That's when I learned you can go on throwing up after you run out of things to throw up.
It seems that when you have cancer you are a brave battler against the disease, but when you have Alzheimer's you are an old fart. That's how people see you. It makes you feel quite alone.
The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.
Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.
Sooner or later we're all someone's dog.
You can't remember the plot of the Dr Who movie because it didn't have one, just a lot of plot holes strung together. It did have a lot of flashing lights, though.
I think I would like to go into modelling. Of course, I don't know how to do it, and wouldn't be any good at it if I did, so I'm going to employ someone to walk the catwalks on my behalf. It would still be me, of course.
Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon.
Never trust any complicated cocktail that remains perfectly clear until the last ingredient goes in, and then immediately clouds.
Personally, I think the best motto for an educational establishment is: 'Or Would You Rather Be a Mule?'
My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all pedestrians while ringing their bell loudly, the concept of avoiding people being foreign to them.
Opera happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.
You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
I'm glad a genre writer has got a knighthood, but stunned that it was me.
It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.
