What amazes me is that the whole world is fascinated by Kim Kardashian. What's her talent?
— Tony Rock
Trouble was almost inevitable. I grew up with so many at-risk kids. Kids had things go wrong.
Nothing's given in the Rock family.
My father drove a truck, and my mother was a school teacher. They wanted their children to go the traditional route: get good grades, go to college, get a job.
Every day of my life is a dream goal.
I can make anything in the room funny in a few seconds.
I've always been into stand-up, and I always wanted to be a comic because it was like the dream job as a kid, and my brother, being the patriarch, he paved the way.
I keep saying this - and I keep putting it off because I get busy - but I keep saying one year I'm gonna tape our Thanksgiving dinner or, like, our Christmas dinner and maybe put it on my website just for people to see how funny it really is, how much fun it really, really is.
I have seven brothers and sisters, and they could all be standup comics!
Sometimes I might get in the door a little quicker than somebody else because of my last name. But if I'm not prepared, I'm not afforded the luxury of, 'Oh, he's a little green.' It's, 'He's not talented,' where the next guy can have a bad day.
You know why kids don't eat fruits? Because fruits don't have any mascots. Every sugary cereal has a bear or a rabbit going , 'Kid! Eat it! Eat it, eat it, eat it!' You're a kid, you're like, 'I got to get that cereal.'
My family is just naturally funny.
I haven't been offstage for more than two days since I started doing comedy.
Nobody needs a chitlin.
If you're at the Comedy Store or the Laugh Factory or the Improv, even two minutes helps. You never know who might be in the audience.
Women do so much aesthetically to attract men that they sometimes overlook the simple things, like cooking.
I went to a wedding in St. Maarten, and we took a boat ride over to Anguilla for a day. We went to a beach that had the whitest sand I had ever seen before in my life. I was in the water up to the middle of my chest and could still see my feet. It was the clearest water.
When I was growing up, I was really into comedy. I listened to a lot of comedy albums. I loved Richard Pryor, but the comic that had the most impact on me was always my brother Chris, who was in the next room. It was tangible. If Chris could make it, I could try.
My older brothers have their own children, and they have to go to soccer practice and football practice on the weekends. They're doing their thing and on the weekends, and I'm on the road. The busier we get, the less time we get to see each other. That's why, when we see each other, it's really, really kind of special.
We weren't rich by any means, but we had each other, so we were rich in family. When you don't have a lot, it just fuels that creativity. So it manifested in us doing characters of people in the neighborhood or doing impersonations of Mom and Dad. The comedy bug, it takes over.
I have seven brothers and two sisters, so there was always a little friendly competition in the house. I don't think that's anything unusual with that many siblings.
I'm a skinny kid from Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn.
I will never be the comic that apologizes for telling a joke.
I never knew I was poor until I got older because we just had so much fun. I thought everyone had grilled cheese night and that everyone had Cup-O-Noodles for dinner on Fridays.
Never steal jokes.
I talk about everything - politics, the economy; the news will give you more material than you can ever use. But relationships? That's the ongoing battle. You talk about men and women, and across-the-board everyone can relate to that.
When you're doing standup, it's just you. It's your written jokes. You perform it however your personality is.
It's too expensive to eat healthy. You ever go to Whole Foods? A carrot is, like, seven dollars. McDonald's got double cheeseburgers for a dollar.
People say an Oscar validates your career. No, it doesn't. There's more good actors without Oscars than there are with Oscars.
I was depressed for a long time.
My pops, the whole time while I was growing up, was conscious of what we ate. He made sure we exercised and had time outside. He knew having a healthy lifestyle meant exercise.
Any club has more than enough comics, so if you're not there every night talking to the booker, you're not going to get on. You have to be there more than they are.
Once school let out every year, my siblings and I would get packed into a station wagon to drive to South Carolina to see my grandparents for summer vacation. If school let out on Friday, we were probably in the station wagon no later than Sunday morning, and we would make stops along the way.
New York is home. It's so unique that there is no other place like it.
I saw my father every day of my childhood.
If my sisters like something I do, then I'm very happy with it. I only listen to my sisters!
If I modeled myself after anybody, it probably would have been Richard Pryor.
Regular people laugh harder. Industry people are stuffy, very judgmental.
My first stand-up experience, like most comics, was horrible. I got booed offstage. I thought I was funnier than I was. But the walk from the back of the room to the stage was the most excited I'd ever been about anything in my life other than kissing a girl. That's how I knew I had to get back onstage and do it again.
My brother nurtured the love of stand-up comedy in a skinny little black kid named Tony.
Mexicans work so hard. Jamaicans are like, 'Hey mon. Take it easy. You work too 'ard.' Sneak into the country Sunday night, working Monday morning.
I was on the school bus telling Richard Pryor jokes. I was sneaking, listening to Richard Pryor albums and would go to school the next day, tell all the jokes, and get in trouble because I was cursing.
There's nothing like the freedom of being in a roomful of strangers and trying to make them laugh... You either sink or swim. It's like verbal boxing.
I know I'm going to be doing standup for the rest of my life.
You got to be willing to be knocked out to win a fight. You got to be willing to get booed off the stage to get a standing ovation.
Ask Frank Stallone how far your name gets you.
I don't understand why black people feel this undying need to want to be down with white people all the time.
You can live with diabetes. It's not the worst thing to have, but you have to manage yourself and have some self control.
Like everybody, I started out doing 'bringer' shows - the kind where if you show up with a certain number of people, you get to perform. Sometimes I would actually pay strangers off the street to come in and see my set.
I love to eat. I'm a foodie, and when I'm on vacation, I want to be a foodie with their culture, with their foods.
