Stockings are tricky for girls - you worry about them falling down all night and the idea that you dress up at 7pm so that your boyfriend can get excited about six hours later is just too much effort.

If you meet a girl who says: 'Darling, what do you mean? Of course I wear suspenders. I've worn them all my life. I think tights are for old people,' then know this: she's desperate to have kids, she wants you and her to live in the same house as her mum, she never wants to go out and she just wants to lie on your chest for the next 15 years.

The truth is that tights are just so cosy.

Claudia Winkleman Quotes