A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions.

I find Washington audiences are basically the same as every other audience; they watch me and go, 'Who's idea was it to go see him? And is it too late to ask for my money back?'

I always feel that most political jokes, if you're going to do them, you have to do them within the next five minutes, or else they're outdated. By the time you've got it to the point that it's strong, it would be 12 years old.

Gilbert Gottfried Quotes