I had a head injury when I was living in England; I was in the hospital for three days, and they didn't even ask for my name. I spent three days in there. And then, when I was done, I just got up and left. I wasn't a British citizen; I was there on a work permit.

I don't believe in gun bans; that's a fallacy that people have, that they think if you believe in gun control you want to ban guns. That's not true.

Nixon started auditing late-night show hosts because they were making jokes about him. Then, every single one of their staff got tax audits.

Jim Jefferies Quotes