Everybody's always asking me about my blood pressure. They did an interview once where they hooked me up to a blood pressure machine and they'd rile me. I'd yell and scream, and then it would just go back to normal in a few minutes. Everything else is probably rotting, but the blood pressure is spectacular.

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

The Democrats have responded to the Republicans' lack of dealing with reality by truly not dealing with reality, either.

Lewis Black Quotes