I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican.

I wanted to write at school - to write funny stories which the teacher might ask me to read out to the class. It's all basically about showing off.

I'm showbiz-fat. It's so funny, in all the reviews that I read, no one wants to use the word 'fat' as an adjective. So I have to deal with 'dimpled-kneed,' 'hefty,' 'plus-sized,' the most obscure words you can imagine.

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