I've been told there's a special golden shelf, in the secret vault kept at the back of every bookstore in America, that contains the Bible, 'War and Peace,' and 'Driving Mr. Albert.'

When in my writing lair, I have no access to the Web. Otherwise, I'm like one of those lab rats on too much sugar. To compile my Google searches would be to see my sludgy, allusive brain at work.

I feel so disassociated from my writing - whether it's in book form or magazine - that I sometimes have a hard time believing that it's mine.

Michael Paterniti Quotes