I get tons of emails every day from a lot of gays and young girls asking for help with their self-confidence and to heal and to feel. Even though I'm not an equipped social worker, I think the mom presence that I have makes them feel safe.

One day I went up to my mom and I said, 'Mom, can I have permission to build a 2.3-million electron-volt atom smasher - a betatron - in the garage?' And my mom stared at me, and she said, 'Sure. Why not? And don't forget to take out the garbage.'

I would love to be a dad. There are plenty of comedians who have kids. But they're dads. Being a dad is so different from being a mom.

Mom Quotes