Money can't buy you happiness, but it helps you look for it in a lot more places.

Now a 'funnyman' can get a laugh before opening his mouth - looking funny. Lou Costello was one of your great funnymen. Harry Langdon, Larry Semon; they were all funnymen - they looked funny. W.C. Fields was never a comedian. Slim Summerville was a comedian, yet looked funny. Now if you have both attributes, you are in good shape.

I have a file of four million jokes... I have them cross-indexed. Whatever subject you want, I have a joke on it.

Milton Berle Quotes