One of my biggest pet peeves is when a guy's wearing flip-flop sandals, which I don't understand. Men's feet are disgusting to begin with, but now they're on display when I try to go out for a nice steak at a restaurant, and I have to sit there and look at some guy's hoof? I don't get it. I don't understand it.

You go into Wal-Mart, and you see stuff you typically wouldn't see anywhere else.

I've never seen a weirder group of people than at the post office. It looks like people are crawling out from under rocks to go to the post office.

Sebastian Maniscalco Quotes