I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind.

I personally find it difficult to accept that there could be anyone on earth insensitive to the comic abilities of Laurel and Hardy, Sid Caesar, Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, or Martin Short. But no matter who the comic entertainer is, there is always at least a minority prepared to say, 'What's all the excitement about? He doesn't seem funny to me.'

One of the nice things about problems is that a good many of them do not exist except in our imaginations.

Steve Allen Quotes