I've never tweeted. 'Funny or Die' started my Twitter account for me, and so I don't even have the password or anything like that. They started it, then they handed it off to other comics.

It's true; I have a skill and it's... it has not related to acting, it's not related to auditions, it's not related to studios, not related to public whim. It's whether I'm funny or not and whether I can entertain people.

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Funny Quotes