I've tried several diets over the past couple of years - not because I need to lose weight, but because my pants are trying to cut me in two.

I've always thought that I'd make a pretty good police officer, except maybe for the danger part. I have a rare medical condition that makes it difficult for me to risk getting shot, so probably I'd have to be one of those officers who work in 'do not shoot' areas.

My dog Tucker likes to walk late at night because it is a good way to keep me awake. Apparently, the one time I took him for a stroll around midnight represented, to him, a commitment similar to marriage.

W. Bruce Cameron Quotes