I've never found kicks to the groin particularly funny, although recent work in the genre of the buddy movie suggests audience research must prove me wrong.
— Roger Ebert
The reality is, to watch Jon Stewart, you already have to have watched the news. In other words, it's not funny if he does a joke about John McCain and they don't know who John McCain is.
— Roger Ailes
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
— Rodney Dangerfield
I've never really focused on if I had good habits when I sang or if I had bad habits, or if I was breathing correctly. So, I started doing vocal exercises and would stretch out before I sang, stuff to help my breathing. It's funny, you breathe your whole life then you find out you're not doing it correctly.
— Rodney Atkins
I was also lucky to play for an owner, Bud Selig, who truly cared about his players. He'd call me into his office once in a while when he knew things weren't going so well. And it's funny. Every time I left there I always felt like something good was about to happen.
— Robin Yount
I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.
— Robin Williams
I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person.
Not intending to be funny: I sit at the keyboard, put my fingers on the keys and go. To me, it's the real secret of writing. Put yourself in front of the screen or the blank sheet of paper and get to work.
— Robin Hobb
I snootily say I can't take too many dramatic parts, as it's taking work from actors who aren't funny.
— Robert Webb
You can almost liken 'Bad Samaritan' to 'Funny Games' because it's that theme of horror just down the street in your neighborhood.
— Robert Sheehan
Lana Turner was adorable and funny. Jimmy Stewart was such a nice person. I quickly realized that if you're not a nice person, you're not going to last in this business. I mean, once your box office starts to drop off, like Veronica Lake, they'll get rid of you fast.
— Robert Osborne
The funny thing about insane people is that it is kind of the opposite of being a celebrity. Nobody envies you.
— Robert M. Pirsig
I like to think my sense of humor is sort of smart and dumb at the same time. I like to work on multiple levels - smart and dumb, funny and sad, profound and mundane, cynical and hopeful.
— Robert Lopez
Comedy is still alive, and there are still funny people. Jews are still overrepresented in comedy and psychiatry and underrepresented in the priesthood. That immigrant Jewish humor is still with us.
— Robert Klein
You know what's funny, I really hate Par 3's. I feel like you have to be perfect from jumpstreet. But on Par 5's, you can mess up a little bit, but you still have time to adjust before you get to the hole and still end up with a birdie or a par.
— Robert Horry
But I think Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang really got that thing where, if a movie reads really funny and then has some dramatic or violent or sinister stuff in it, you can't forget that primarily it has to be even funnier than you read it or that other stuff doesn't work.
— Robert Downey, Jr.
Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.
— Robert Byrne
It is quite possible for the vulgar to be funny, but to succeed, it must rise to a certain genius.
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Funny thing about the volatile and biased French crowds. While they'd prefer to be cheering a countryman and giving his foreign opponent merry hell, if there was no Frenchman in the game, they'd always support a Continental player over an Englishman, an American, or an Australian.
— Rod Laver
When Jonathan Winters died, it was like, 'Oh, man!' I knew he was frail, but I always thought he was going to last longer. I knew him as being really funny, but at the same time, he had a dark side.
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
Everybody who comes to my home has to play at least one set against me. I beat them all. The best thing is when they want another set. People like me who can't stand not to win. I beat them again and again until they are furious, then I laugh. That's funny.
— Robin Van Persie
It's a very funny topic, missing weight and getting title shots. I think the punishments should be more severe, but I don't know.
— Robert Whittaker
'Hustle' is wonderfully enjoyable because all my life, I've made an effort to be with people who can make me laugh. That original cast - Marc Warren, Jaime Murray, Robert Glenister and Adrian Lester - are all funny. So I know every day I'll have a few good laughs.
— Robert Vaughn
Being on 'Star Trek,' you have a funny relationship with fame.
— Robert Picardo
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
— Robert Orben
Every man has a sane spot somewhere.
— Robert Louis Stevenson
With comedy, the jokes will come out, and people will see them coming. Changes in daily life or current events can change the consciousness of audiences and can make the show less funny or feel more stale.
I guess I'm pleased and proud of the respect of my peers, and that when I disappear from the scene or from this earth, I will have left a mark. They'll say, 'He did it well.' I like being funny; it opens people up.
Paul Taylor's 'Offenbach Overtures' has lots of zip and charm, and its pair of dueling soldiers in red, who end up starry-eyed about each other while their disgusted seconds take up the quarrel, is nonstop funny.
— Robert Gottlieb
I read the script for Wonder Boys, and I said that was almost perfect, it was so classy, cool and funny. It's a really specific thing. We stuck to it, it turned out good and a lot of people liked it.
I like girls who are funny with a warped sense of humor.
— Robert Buckley
It's funny that there was so much disturbance about having a Catholic in the White House with Kennedy, and when we finally get a religion in the White House that's causing a lot of conflicts, and concerns, and disturbances for a lot of people, it's in the Bush Administration.
The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
Right now my favorite TV show - because it's too close to home - is 'My Name Is Earl.' That show kills me. There's some funny stuff in there.
It's so funny because, here in Hollywood, an actor who really is versatile and who has the ability to transform between comedy and drama roles is considered a rarity.
— Rocky Carroll
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
Too many writers get stuck in the trap of writing what they think is funny and not considering who they are writing it for.
— Robin Thede
I've been called funny. I assume my wife thinks I'm funny. But generally, if you bumped into me and said hello, I would say hello back, politely. And that would be it.
People think it's funny that I enjoy dreaming so much. I just use it as a form of entertainment. It's very private. I don't see my dreams as separate. I mean, half the time I'm wandering around dreaming anyway.
— Robert Smith
I think 'Elf' is funny, with Will Ferrell. That's a great Christmas movie.
I think funny is just the foundation. I don't really think, to some extent, funny is the absolute most important thing. It should also communicate some idea through the medium of cartooning. Just to be funny is... You know what, the things that you laugh hardest at aren't cartoons.
— Robert Mankoff
When we wrote 'Avenue Q,' we worked hard to create something that could be funny and satirical but also had some surprise moments of heart, moments when the music itself could become a central player and create something sweet and moving.
I love being funny! I started in the theater when I was 9 and, believe it or not, always played the funny part!
— Robert Knepper
There is a cliche that probably has some anecdotal evidence on the side that comedians are very depressed people, but that's because no one is ever going to seem as funny in a normal conversation as compared to when they're up there onstage in the spotlight making a huge audience keel over with laughter.
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
— Robert Frost
Sometimes I am so dry that people don't know I'm kidding and think I'm being serious. I enjoy this because their reactions are often funny.
— Robert Crais
