I don't find monkeys inherently funny.
— Paul F. Tompkins
I know an actor who would play one type of part but could never get cast as tough. Once he got cast as tough, as a cop, he only got offered cop roles. It's a funny business in that regard. It's all about perception.
— Paul Dano
I still read the British papers, but I've never been a Royalist, ever. It's funny, there always seems to be much more of a fascination with the Royal Family over here then there does in England.
— Paul Bettany
I joke around a lot about the manic times because they're funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of our colorful nature.
— Patty Duke
Yeah, there were a few years in the early nineties where I really began to hate what was valued as funny and just sort of what was valued in stand-up, period.
— Patton Oswalt
Dad was the first man I fell in love with. He was a very funny man. He grew up in the East End of London and was very dynamic, and I understood why my mother fell in love with him.
— Patsy Kensit
I get tired of comedies where there are a bunch of funny guys and a beautiful woman who doesn't do anything funny. And I don't like books where there's a rough-and-tumble boy and a really clever, snotty girl. That's just not my experience with teenagers.
— Patrick Ness
I'm probably the guy who keeps it loose around the room and tries to joke around with guys before the game, keeping things funny.
— Patrick Kane
I was intentionally curbing the impulse to be funny and hiding the ability. I wrote any number of very serious attempts at poems, short stories, novels - horrible. At a certain point, I recognized that it was fun to write dialogue that had a degree of lightness and humor.
— Patrick deWitt
Frankly, most of my friends hold very different political beliefs. It's just a funny thing in this country that supposedly you can't sit down and have dinner and enjoy another person's company if you don't have the same beliefs. It's ridiculous.
— Patricia Heaton
When my parents were dating, they were very poor, so my dad couldn't take my mom out. They would go to the grocery store and pick out funny looking vegetables. When I grew up, we'd still go and find the ones with personality.
— Parker Posey
I'm blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I'm sweet, shy, funny, have a big heart and I'm nice - and I like to eat.
— Paris Hilton
It is one thing to go on stage and be funny or be in a good place in your career, but for a woman, actually facing the elements in a physical way is a very powerful thing.
— Pamela Stephenson
I am the ultimate California girl, which is funny, being that I'm Canadian.
— Pamela Anderson
I can't imagine bringing in somebody else to direct my show. Wouldn't that be funny, if next season I had, like, Michael Bay come in and direct 'Better Things'? I wonder what that would be like?
— Pamela Adlon
A lot of newspaper columns used to be written in a rat-a-tat-tat, fast-paced style - and they tended to be funny. They were a little relief from the grimmer, grayer parts of the newspaper, and one of the best people at doing this was Will Rogers.
— P. J. O'Rourke
Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.
One of the funny things of being a producer, you have these fleeting, intense relationships with people, and they go off to global megastardom, and you don't see them.
— Paul Epworth
It's a funny thing. You sort of never figure it out with acting. You're always learning.
The funny thing is that I feel close to all my characters. Deep, deep inside them all.
— Paul Auster
If you play comedic scenes like they're really serious, then it's so much more funny than if you're going for a laugh.
It was great fun to hang around the Beatles. They had amazingly fast minds, and they were incredibly amusing and funny and witty. They were great. There was a very high energy surrounding them.
— Pattie Boyd
So, deadpan I think just means not acknowledging for one second that you think that this is funny and clever.
— Patrick Warburton
I got tired of books where the boy is a bit thick and the girl's very clever. Why does it have to such an opposition? Why can't they be like the girls and boys that I know personally, who are equally funny and equally cross? Who get things equally wrong and are equally brave? And make the same mistakes?
It's funny: when you're skating around during warm-ups, I'll see signs that say things like: 'Kane, Prom?' We have a fun, young team, and girls are asking you to the prom and giving you their numbers.
Experience is a funny thing. You don't always have it when you need it.
— Patrick Chan
I've told so many stories to so many friends of mine. I have friends in Pittsburgh, in West Virginia, and in Indy. That's three different demographics of people, and they all laughed, so I assumed that if I find something funny and all my friends find something funny, I hope people everywhere will find it funny.
— Pat McAfee
I can do comedy, so people want me to do that, but the other side of comedy is depression. Deep, deep depression is the flip side of comedy. Casting agents don't realize it but in order to be funny you have to have that other side.
It's funny that as soon as I retired from international football, Italy won the World Cup.
— Paolo Maldini
Even for natives, French satire is rarely laugh-out-loud funny. Its unspoken punch line is typically that things have gone irrevocably wrong, and the government is to blame.
— Pamela Druckerman
Wouldn't it be funny if I were a total nightmare? If I just shot 21-hour days and went over budget? But, you know, it's something I'm really careful about, because I am a mom, and also, I'm an actor. I'm a pleaser: I don't want to take up too much of people's time.
I'm surrounded by friends and family who are not that impressed by celebrity. They don't have any problem telling me I'm acting like an idiot or I'm not that funny.
— Paloma Faith
I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block... pretty funny.
As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children.
I always think of the Joker as the ultimate bully. Nothing he says is funny except to him.
— Paul Dini
When I got a call to do the voice of Johnny in an episode of 'American Dad' titled 'I Can't Stan You,' it was a great opportunity to be a part of a really funny cutting-edge show on television. I really got into the character, and I was able to do some improvisation, which allowed me to mix in part of my personality into the script.
— Paul Butcher
It's funny. You travel all over the world, and you wind up with a guy from your hometown.
— Patty Smyth
Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term.
I did feel funny about being fair and having red hair and freckles. I did not like that because I grew up in a neighbourhood where no one had red hair. I felt very conspicuous but not in a nice way.
— Patti Scialfa
I have made so many friends at Google it's not funny.
— Patrick Pichette
It's pretty funny, just driving by in a cab, and you see a huge billboard of yourself on the side of a hotel, like a 100-by-100 poster hanging up.
I was fired from an NBC sitcom called 'Friends With Benefits.' I was wrong for the part from the beginning, didn't even want to audition, and kept thinking, 'This isn't funny at all.'
— Patrick J. Adams
The Midwest breeds funny, eccentric people, to varying degrees. You play shows not because you're expecting to get a record deal, but to do something fun outside of mowing lawns. Everything else is just gravy... Or mustard.
— Patrick Carney
America is a funny place; it's a land of extremes, I think. There's fantastic, and there's gobsmackingly dreadful. In every realm you could imagine, they do extremes very well or badly, depending on how you look at it.
— Passenger
It was funny because on the day that I joined the club, the newspaper that broke the news was one that people don't always trust or believe. Then, when I signed, and there were pictures of me and Sir Alex Ferguson, people believed it.
— Park Ji-sung
I find it very funny as well as touching that people associate me with these characters I play and form a connect with them.
— Pankaj Tripathi
My career only took off because of one football game. I thought it was funny. 'Playboy' called and offered me a cover just like that. I turned them down initially, because I was nervous about it and my boyfriend at the time didn't want me to do it, but they kept coming back, so I eventually said yes.
It's spelled, like, S-E-R-G. I always thought it would be funny if I called my son 'Sir.' Like calling your daughter 'Ma'am,' or something like that.
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny.
Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate.
