I always say, if I tell you a joke right now and it's funny, you laugh. Now, we set the lights, and I tell you the joke again, it's hard to find it funny the second time.
— Martin Landau
For years, I was either referred to as a 'rubber-faced funny man' or 'the 'Men Behaving Badly' star.'
— Martin Clunes
It's funny: I've joked that 'Sharp Objects,' 'To the Bone,' and 'Dietland' are my self-harm trilogy, and each one is a different side of that triangle, with 'Dietland' really about fighting back.
— Marti Noxon
OK, I have to admit that I go on TheSuperficial.com. That guy is so funny, he's just so funny... you know, I'm a news junkie, so I regularly flip between HuffingtonPost.com, CNN.com, and a site that's called MyWay.com, which shows me six different news feeds. And I go on DrudgeReport.com about once a day.
— Marshall Herskovitz
Gotta stay in the gym, stay funny, stay sharp. I just love working.
— Marlon Wayans
If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that's what I'd be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong.
It's funny, because when you're younger you're in a rush to be 18 or 21 or whatever. But then you hit 30. And now, the days go by like hours. You think, 40, man, this could be the halfway point. It could be the three-quarters point, you know? Who knows?
— Mark Wahlberg
All generalizations are false, including this one.
— Mark Twain
We all struggle. Life is not fun. A lot of times, it's really painful and hard. Sometimes it's really funny. 'Foxcatcher' is kind of like a metaphor for that.
— Mark Schultz
People say funny things all the time during really serious moments in life.
— Mark Ruffalo
When I started, I wanted to be thought of as tortured and seductive, not funny, but humor tends to be a reflexive part of a person's sensibility. It's an almost impossible thing to teach anyone, which leads me to believe that it's intuitive.
— Mark Leyner
Things can be funny when people are uneasy. It softens them up and stops them falling asleep on the sofa. I like those moments where people half-smile and half-wince.
— Mark Haddon
I just recently joined Twitter. It's very positive - I love all the accolades. If my ego is hurting, I can just open my Twitter account and see 'Oh, I love you! I love the show!' and it's great. I'm trying to find the balance between trying to be funny, being honest and just being a promoter as the guy on 'Royal Pains.'
— Mark Feuerstein
The other day in the garage, I found a book report from the seventh grade that I did about silent movie stars. It's funny to look at now, because it really foretold what my future would be.
— Mark Bridges
I wanted to write at school - to write funny stories which the teacher might ask me to read out to the class. It's all basically about showing off.
— Mark Billingham
Some of my friends say that I only talk about myself. But it is funny: my house is covered in art but with nothing of my own, and when I'm working, I'm only thinking about what the client wants. So I don't see it that way, but maybe it's true. I mean, they are my friends.
— Mario Testino
I don't say things to be offensive; I say things because they're funny to me. It amuses me.
— Marilyn Manson
I love Deadmau5 as a producer, as a person. He's super interesting. He's very funny to follow on social media. But as a producer, he gets every single credit I can give him. He's nuts.
— Martin Garrix
Everything seems fine until you're about 40. Then something is definitely beginning to go wrong. And you look in the mirror with your old habit of thinking, 'While I accept that everyone grows old and dies, it's a funny thing, but I'm an exception to that rule.'
— Martin Amis
I watch things that are fun, or funny, or interesting.
— Martha Plimpton
There is definitely a pressure for funny people to be funny. People want them to perform all the time.
— Marsha Thomason
I don't think of myself as a comedian, but as an artist, a scientist and chemist who just happens to be funny. I started doing stand-up to add another level to my game. I feel that I'm a young rookie with a veteran's skill.
When I create a story, I can make it however funny, sad, or happy I want it to be. And when I read, I feel like I'm in the story, and I get to experience it. It feels like I'm watching someone else do something, but I'm doing the thing that the character is doing as well.
— Marley Dias
I think it's one of those funny things - sometimes you're not really friends with somebody until you've gotten into a good fight, and I think that's the situation with Superman and Batman.
— Mark Valley
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
It perhaps has a chance, a commercial chance, this film. It's funny, it's charming, the idea is original, it's unusual and it makes fun of the movie industry in a way that it needs to be poked fun at.
— Mark Rydell
And as - funny enough, it actually became - so I've always wanted to be a Guinness world record holder. And believe it or not, before I made this there was not a category for world's largest Nerf gun, but there is now.
— Mark Rober
People in America think of it as a sad and downtrodden place, and I guess it could be, but it's not because that's not who Cubans are. In Cuba, you get a good story every day you go out walking. People are so funny.
— Mark Kurlansky
Culturally, it's really funny to me that people respect the weird guy as an artist. There can be a curmudgeon in the corner with spiders building nests in his hair, and he hasn't bathed for three weeks, but for whatever reason, he's more creative than the guy sitting next to him that's showered and is talking to everybody.
— Mark Foster
Obviously we know Bill Hader is funny and charming, but my question is, can he do raw humanity and naturalism? I think so.
— Mark Duplass
The funny thing about being creative is that, especially high school people, I kept noticing I'd always go to these certain materials. I'd always be picking up trash and picking up paper and using it.
— Mark Bradford
I'm showbiz-fat. It's so funny, in all the reviews that I read, no one wants to use the word 'fat' as an adjective. So I have to deal with 'dimpled-kneed,' 'hefty,' 'plus-sized,' the most obscure words you can imagine.
— Marissa Jaret Winokur
A lot of my stories about the old days, they're delicious and funny. But every time I recall the early days, it's painful. With every anecdote, it's painful because you're summoning up the terribly, terribly difficult life of my parents. And it's painful because I didn't realize at the time how hard it was for them.
— Mario Cuomo
If you believe, as I do believe, in reincarnation, they say that every time you come back, it's because you have to finish something. I've a funny feeling that my thing in this life is to have one relationship after another.
— Marie Helvin
It's a funny thing, 'The Office,' because millions and millions and millions and millions of people didn't watch it. But culturally, it is more of a phenomenon than almost anything else I can remember as far as British television is concerned.
— Martin Freeman
I love being in a public space where teenagers are talking. And the funny thing is that it hasn't changed that much. There's certainly slang that I'm not familiar with, but among the average teen, it's still the same.
It's not common for a woman on television, especially if she's the mom of the family, to be funny. She's usually a straight man or foil.
Comedy clubs can be brutal. Those people are for real, and if you aren't funny, they aren't laughing. They don't care who you are.
I'm good at coming up with wacky characters and funny dialogue.
Kids are funny.
— Mark Waters
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.
— Mark Russell
It's funny; we never had anything like credibility. Even though we all have some sort of punk-rock background, but so what? I really don't care about that. What's credibility anyway? Who has credibility?
— Mark McGrath
I love fashion. Actually, funny story, I used to give the 'Esquire Big Black Book' to young wrestlers when they would join the WWE, because they needed to know how to dress.
— Mark Henry
It's funny: the one time I got star-struck was when I met Snoop Dogg. I gave him a hug and said, 'I love you, man.'
My wife is so funny and talented and never lets anybody fail next to her.
— Mark Consuelos
I don't know why we, in the art world, cannot unpack things and sort of make hybrid notions of a practice. We're very rigid. It's funny, though; in music, we have no problem sampling, mixing and remixing. But in the art world, why can't we take little parts of history and mix it together?
I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican.
— Marion Barry
Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.
— Marilyn vos Savant
