I don't know anybody that has a teenage son or daughter who at some point hasn't been like, 'God, I hate them' just under their breath. It's not meant to be literal. It's funny.
— Jaime Pressly
It's funny: a lot of roles I do read for mention physical presence - like, 'built like a quarterback' - and for me, it's pretty boring because I don't want that to be the most important thing. I'm not trying to be Dwayne Johnson.
— Jai Courtney
Craig McDean was probably one of the first people I shot with. I shot with him for years with Tommy Hilfiger and a few other jobs. He's just so nice and just a super normal, funny guy.
— Jacquelyn Jablonski
You'll hear 'Hippie,' or, 'Get a haircut.' I like it. I think it's funny because they think we've never heard that before. So, like, good one.
— Jacob deGrom
It's funny in the U.K., where I'm not really known because I never did a soap. My English cousins in the Lake District think I'm not a real actor because they've never seen me in 'Home and Away' or 'Neighbours.'
— Jacki Weaver
Mmmm... the comedy that matters is the comedy you pull out of thin air. It's a bit like when something funny has happened and you try to explain it to someone else and end up saying, 'You had to be there.'
— Jack Dee
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
— Jack Benny
That is what I got into comedy for, to be able to challenge myself and just grow as a comedian and find new ways to be funny.
— Jaboukie Young-White
There's a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothing is sad. You want that contrast.
— J. Michael Straczynski
The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny.
— J. K. Rowling
Stand-up comedians say that anyone in the audience can be funny, but people paid to see us because we're just a little bit funnier. In the same way, I think anybody can play music - in fact, I think everyone has music in them, but some of us can do it a little better.
— J. D. Souther
When you write fiction, you're like a bird making a nest. You remember every little story ever told you. It's funny how things come back to you.
— J. Courtney Sullivan
Believe it or not, I write on stage. I can't write anywhere else; I have to be in a moment. I also have to challenge myself to make something funny out of a premise. I never have my own jokes written. I have to change things as I go along, and I have to entertain myself.
— J. B. Smoove
She was a handsome woman of forty-five and would remain so for many years.
— J. B. Priestley
Movies either work or they don't work and they're either funny or they're not and we work very hard. To achieve that kind of work is really kind of delicate stitching.
— Ivan Reitman
I'll stick to finding the funny in the ordinary because my life is pretty ordinary and so are the lives of my friends - and my friends are hilarious.
— Issa Rae
I auditioned for a movie recently, and when I went in, the producer said he'd told one of its stars, Naomi Watts, that he was auditioning me, and she'd said, 'She's so funny; she's a great actress - you should hire her.' What a lovely, kind, and supportive thing to do for another woman.
— Isla Fisher
But the funny thing is, I broke my finger not on set doing kung fu. I broke my finger when I fell down the stairs prior to going on set.
— Jaime King
I'm definitely not the caliber player that LeBron is, but I find it funny how people can criticize him and the way he plays the game. So it's pretty easy to criticize me if they are still able to criticize LeBron.
— Jahlil Okafor
This will sound really funny, but I'm so used to shooting in Hindi that shooting in English took a while to get used to.
— Jacqueline Fernandez
You've got to play every game until it's over. Baseball is a funny game, so you never know what's going to happen.
If I'm in an uncomfortable situation, I think I can say something funny to defuse it. Sometimes you can't.
— Jack Whitehall
I think back to some of the things Harry said and some of the things I said trying to be funny. If I said them now, it would be on the front page of every newspaper in the country.
— Jack Buck
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
I would love to do something like 'Beverly Hills Cop'. I'd get to be funny and cool and heroic all in the same breath.
— Ja Rule
I'm not a fan of any genre but am a fan of movies that are intelligent and/or funny. That goes across all genres: a horror movie, a zombie movie, alien invaders, chick flick, or raunchy comedy. If it's well done, I'm a fan.
— J. K. Simmons
A reputation takes years and years and years to build, and it takes one press of a button to ruin it. Don't let that happen to you. You've done so much work; you've put in so much effort. Don't let one moment ruin your entire life because you wanted to be funny or you were mad or because you had a mood.
— J. J. Watt
What I like best is a book that's at least funny once in a while. What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though.
— J. D. Salinger
I was just a goofy little funny kid, who was always getting sent to the principal. It wasn't serious because I was smart. I wasn't like a true troublemaker, just rambunctious - like, talkative and trying to be funny. That was me in middle-school.
— J. Cole
I can apply myself to the format of 'SNL,' I can apply myself to the format of 'Conan,' but at the same time, I'm still being J. B. Smoove. I'm not changing up my style, I'm not changing up how I think, what's funny to me, my delivery, the way I carry myself.
I was flying with my brother, and he challenged me to work out on the airplane. He thought it was funny - and I did it!
— Izabel Goulart
A good actor is someone who knows how to take the part and make it real and make it honest and be effective in it. If it's in a funny movie and, as long as they are cast in an appropriate way, humor will come from it.
I hate to say it but I hate black humor. I feel like a Klan member saying it, but it's just not funny.
I think audiences have always wanted to see women in the movies, but every time a movie like 'Bridesmaids' comes out, everyone says, 'Oh how funny, people do want to see women in the movies.'
It's a funny thing because I don't want to wish away my privacy. Do I want 'Terminator Genisys' to explode? Absolutely. Do I want to take my career to the next level? Absolutely? You have to trade some things for that. It's all about how you conduct yourself and what you make of the experience.
I find it really funny that men can always get away with being a ladies man. Everyone thinks it's really cool. But a girl can't really date boys all the time because everybody looks down on her. I think boys get away with things so much easier.
— Jade Thirlwall
It's funny, because in deference to conventional wisdom, I spent my struggling writer years trying to suppress my naturally baroque literary voice and write clean, spare prose. I finally gave up and embraced my baroque tendencies when I wrote the Kushiel series.
— Jacqueline Carey
I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.
— Jackie Mason
I remember trying to be funny, and both of my parents were terribly funny. My father was also very dignified, but my mother was an absolute ding-a-ling, a ripper.
— Jack Lemmon
Back in the '70s, like one of my favorite movies ever was 'The Bad News Bears', and that was a kids' movie, but I don't think of it that way. I think of it as just a great movie because Walter Matthau was so funny and so harsh with those kids.
— Jack Black
I never feel like it'll be something where like, ‘Aha, I've got it. I'm funny for the rest of my life. I don't need to tell jokes anymore. I just am comedy.'
While I was busy hating Vegas, and hiding from Vegas, a funny thing happened. I grew to love Vegas.
— J. R. Moehringer
We're a phenomenally snobby society, and it's such a rich seam. The middle class is so funny: it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny.
Yes, I've been down the pike and back. And through the years, I've heard different songs with scatting in it, and it was - always cracked me up as kind of a funny style of music, you know? When I did it, it kind of cracked me up as a comedy kind of routine.
— J. J. Cale
It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to.
Live TV has an amazing pace to it. You've got to be able to think quick, make changes last minute, and be funny and fast.
I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people post funny videos. I get a chance to rate their videos; they get a chance to blog and kick it with me.
I made a couple of friends when I was a teenager who said I was funny. I used to send them very long texts; it was on a Nokia and always exceeding the text limit. But if I was making jokes in a group nobody was listening.
— Ivo Graham
Yeah, it's kind of tongue-in-cheek. You know, Five Finger Death Punch doing 'Mama Said Knock You Out.' It was just really funny for us.
— Ivan Moody
I used to love being the class clown. I loved to make jokes and make people laugh. There was a set of students who would find it funny. But the cool students were like, 'Eeew!'
