I don't think of myself as funny. I think of myself as rather grave, actually. And I'm suspicious of fun. I never quite know what that is or how to deal with it or how to generate it. That's my fault. I know it's a burden on the people I'm with. It's tiresome.
— Hugh Laurie
It's funny: Your relationship changes with a song over time. After a year or so, you're a different person, so your songs, you don't connect with them like you did.
— Hozier
We sat down and told stories that happened to us in our childhood, to our children. They were all basically based on the truth. These stories were funny and poignant to us. They just took off. These are all stories from my life.
— Howie Mandel
I've always liked older women. One sad thing about being my age is that there are no older women. I used to amuse my mother's friends even at five or six with witty turns of phrase. Somehow, I just knew how to be funny.
— Howard Jacobson
It's funny, because even though on a drama like 'Picket Fences' those long monologues would stress me out, doing special effects where there's a green screen and there's nobody there to to react to and you have to recite all this dialogue, it's so much more difficult.
— Holly Marie Combs
Comedy is one genre that I really want to come my way because I was loved for my funny character in 'Khiladi 786.' So, if approached with a good script and good songs, I will certainly take it up.
— Himesh Reshammiya
I took 'P.S. I Love You' thinking it was going to be a little funny, and I ended up crying every day on that film.
— Hilary Swank
It's funny to have become an elegant skier now. But my drive is still the same.
— Hermann Maier
I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met.
— Herb Caen
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
— Henry Kissinger
Seeing the funny side of life is useful, and I've always had a sense of humour.
— Henry Allingham
When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.
— Henny Youngman
It's funny about men and women. Men pay in cash to get them and pay in cash to get rid of them. Women pay emotionally coming and going. Neither has it easy.
— Hedy Lamarr
The funny thing is, I look at these magazines that make me so insecure and neurotic, but I'm in them!
— Heather Graham
It's funny: everybody is going to have a little bit of different point of views when it comes to parenting.
— Haylie Duff
What I love about comedy is that we're this group of weirdos, and the only language that matters is, 'Are you funny?' And it really is this oddly cool American idea where comedy's the marketplace of ideas. May the best idea win.
— Hasan Minhaj
I've learned to start from a really sound argument, boil down the essence of what you're trying to say, then build your humor around that, rather than starting with, 'This sounds funny,' and going from there.
In 'The Sound of Music,' I was a von Trapp daughter in a white dress with a blue satin sash, and my line was, 'I'm Brigitta. I'm 12, and all I want is a good time.' I got a laugh. And I was so delighted, I laughed, too. Sadly, that's a problem I still have - onstage, I laugh hysterically at how funny I am.
— Hugh Grant
Regardless of what I do, whether I write a book or whether I act or whether I host, I'll always do stand-up comedy because those moments, that's what I crave. If I do something funny, and I hear a crowd laugh in that moment, we're all sharing the exact same experience and the exact same feeling.
Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good.
— Howard Stern
The novels I planned to write were never going to be funny books about Jews. They were going to be country house books. Only later on could I write what I knew I was best at writing about.
I think that 'Saving Grace' is pretty funny. I think that the show and the woman have a pretty great sense of humor.
— Holly Hunter
If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle.
— Hillary Clinton
I have an older sister named Haley and she wanted to be an actress. So I wanted to be an actress. It's really funny the way that some people don't give kids enough credit for like really being driven, and really wanting to do things so badly.
— Hilary Duff
My father was really good with math. It's a funny thing, I don't remember my father or my mother being so mechanical-minded. My father always wanted to be a doctor, but he came from a really poor family in Georgia, and there was no way he was going to be a doctor.
— Herbie Hancock
Comedy isn't just timing; it's about rooting out the funny in the real. You just bend reality to the left a little.
— Henry Winkler
Constance Wu is so dedicated, Anna Kendrick is ridiculously funny, and Blake Lively is magnetic.
— Henry Golding
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
I had a cordial relationship with all my heroes - some, like Jeetendra or Shatrughan Sinha, are very funny. Amitabh, on the other hand, was more serious, more professional.
— Hema Malini
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
I am the shortest and least funny person in my family.
— Heather Donahue
It's funny the way life works. Sometimes you go around in a weird path to find out exactly what it is that you love to do, and I'm happy that I've sort of discovered something that makes me really happy.
My favorite comedians are just presenting an argument, and they're doing it in a funny way.
Funny is when you're serious.
— Harvey Korman
The reason I turn down 99% of a hundred, I mean a thousand, scripts is because romantic comedies are often very romantic but seldom very funny.
I think the thrust of any child is to try to fit in and be part of it. And I can't tell you how many times my humor, you know, what I thought was humor ended up making me the outsider. Like I'd be, I go, 'It's a joke.' And they'd go, 'Well, what was funny?' And they just thought I was insane.
I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.
— Howard Nemerov
People often think that you have a sense of humor because you think that life is funny. Life isn't funny at all. It's appalling and tragic.
Sometimes you have to take the focus off of you and put it on someone else and it's funny what you can accomplish and how much strength you really have.
— Hoda Kotb
I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair.
Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you; she is after your barn.
— Hesiod
All men are equal before fish.
— Herbert Hoover
Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative.
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house with the conscious design of doing me good, I should run for my life.
— Henry David Thoreau
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
One man's folly is another man's wife.
— Helen Rowland
If someone from 'Arsenal Fan TV' says this guy needs to do this or that I'm not going to listen to him. They're entitled to their opinion and the way they want to do it. If people find it funny, then go watch it.
— Hector Bellerin
I'm just not one of those naturally funny, relaxed actors who enjoy the spotlight and are so good at it.
— Heath Ledger
The funny thing is that people see one film like 'Racing Stripes' or 'Ice Princess' and all of a sudden, slip me into this category of 'that's what she's always involved in.'
— Hayden Panettiere
Funny and sad are two sides of the same coin. I think that most comedians are able to tap into deep subject matter.
