We're not a nation divided: we're a nation broken, and anything broken can be fixed.
— T. J. Miller
I know that, as a comedian, I've made great strides because I've worked as hard as a person can work at being at least wildly amusing.
If there is one thing that makes me unique, it's that I riff a lot.
'Silicon Valley' is a great show. It might be the best comedy on television. And if the Academy feels I have stood out to the point of deserving an award, I won't pawn it.
A mother will come up to me and say, 'Will you meet my son? He loves you. He watched 'How to Train Your Dragon' a thousand times.'
I was in 'Goodwin Games,' which was canceled, and a few other things, so I kind of swore off television unless I was writing or producing it.
There's nothing I would love more than to host an awards show where I'm nominated for an award - that is so funny to me.
When you get into a car, and there's trash, or it's dirty, or one of the hubcaps is off, you're like, 'Come on, dude.' Every woman likes the confidence and self-respect that says, 'I get oil changes. I look after my vehicle.' That's what I recommend: Act like you don't care, but take care of your body.
Slowly but surely, I went through different phases of fame, and each rises you further into isolation and alienation.
I'm so absolutely pro-Denver. I wrote a fake hip-hop song about Denver. I've been claiming Denver. Part of the joke of the song is nobody was really claiming Denver - no rappers, no comedians.
Probably the only way Woody Allen and I are similar is that he has a lot to say about Nietzsche.
I listen to 'deep dish house'.
Is it possible to have negative self-awareness?
Hosting is a thankless job.
When I was in high school, I was doing all the plays. My drama teacher, Melody Duggan, was the one one who first made me do stand-up. She's the origin of the whole thing; it's all her. In high school in Denver, that was kind of the beginning of it all.
Life is hard. Not great. Kind of tragic.
Mike Judge usually receives underwhelming acclaim for his movies when they come out; it takes a while for people to catch up.
Mike Judge is very specific about how people look in his projects, and I think it's because he's an animator.
It's the comedy that guides me. The acting and all that stuff comes second. It's equally important, but I just try to do that as best as I can.
Stand-up and sketch and improv - that's the most direct contact you can have with somebody, making them laugh. I like that. I like the intimacy.
Fame is very isolating. It changes your reality.
I like when people don't know what to expect.
When you spend such a large portion of your life working - and it's not fun, and you're worried about getting sued or fired for saying the wrong thing or for acting crazy at a work party - then what has work done to America? That's the impetus to have a huge office Christmas party.
I don't know that I would host the Golden Globes or the Emmys because I don't think they have the appreciation for irreverence that the Critics Choice does.
I've stated that it's possible the only reason I'm in show business is that I have such a strange, particular head of hair. That, and I can grow a red beard.
I find Denver's hipster scene to be fully unique.
I'll invent a lie. Ricky Gervais has done anything interesting since 'The Office'. There's a lie right there.
I'm a Nietzschean scholar. I've read an immense amount about nihilism and existentialism.
I have a tough time with stand-up because I am an improviser. I can riff; I can do crowd work, so I don't prepare.
Unfortunately, in the race to the most douchebaggery, Silicon Valley is fast in gaining on Hollywood. That race is neck and neck.
People dream their whole lives of their Oscar speech; I dreamt my whole life of hosting the Oscars.
Hollywood is the only thing more ridiculous than Silicon Valley. There's nowhere else where it's stranger.
Russell Brand is lovely, even though he's a weirdo.
I don't get along much with myself.
I don't believe in alcohol. It's a sort of a medicinal necessity for the human condition, none of that stuff. I'm not a gambling man.
I'm the easiest person to make fun of.
Artists want to be congratulated because they should be.
Comedy gives you a shot of euphoria that distracts you from everything that's awful.
I think the physical comedy in action sequences is fantastic. Like, '21 Jump Street' did a great job with that.
I do believe that in the future there will be a movie called 'Deadpool vs. Wolverine'.
Keep your elbows soft. Keep your elbows looking fine.
My face is oblong. But the best grooming is confidence.
Gentrification always makes me laugh. People complain about traffic. Live in Atlanta! You can't have it both ways; you can't live in an incredible city and not expect it to get congested.
Steve Martin's comedy albums are so ridiculous.
My father is very dry and very quick-witted, and my mother is very silly. It was the perfect combination because I got an education in physical and verbal comedy.
I am trying to do comedy on every single medium. I consider myself a public servant.
Always farm fresh eggs, never store bought.
I would say that awards are for children. Because children need a tangible representation of their achievement. And as adults, you have to settle for the respect and admiration of your peers.
I'm a student of comedy in general, so I've always loved Billy Crystal. But I'm a different type of showman. I'm a clown and a jester.
Sometimes, things need to be so understated on film that I don't even see them as funny, which isn't my favorite style, comedically. When I watch film comedy, I like people that are a little bit more alive on the screen and wound up. I like volatility and unpredictability and other long words like those.
