When I was starting out, I was just bringing a garbage bag of jokes onstage, pulling them out like, 'What about this? No? Alright.' I was just trying to be funny about anything.
— W. Kamau Bell
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
— W. C. Fields
The superfluous, a very necessary thing.
— Voltaire
I don't know how to troll people, but there are many out there talking with that intent. I just write something funny that would make people laugh.
— Virender Sehwag
I have a rule - 'funny is funny!' When I write comedy, it's not my aim to upset people. I will be offensive, edgy and immature, but I will also be very intelligent and relevant. At my shows, there are no holy cows.
— Vir Das
All of the films I'm doing are young, urban, high-concept, funny films. That's the zone where I'd like to play and have fun in.
It's funny: one of the strongest parts of my game today is heading, and that only really developed when I started playing at the professional level. In the youth teams, all we did was passing.
— Vincent Kompany
I love to read books by women I look up to who are smart, funny, and interesting, like Tina Fey's 'Bossypants' and Mindy Kaling's 'Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?'
— Victoria Justice
It started off with flu-like symptoms and pain; then, I started feeling really funny. In two weeks, I was paralyzed from the waist down, and it spiraled down from there. Every ability I had was slowly slipping away.
— Victoria Arlen
On family trips and vacations, I remember walking around with my little sister and making funny songs on the spot.
— Vic Mensa
Funny, I think that the only reason I'm compared to Prince is because of my skin color.
— Velveteen Dream
The funny thing is I'm not even Latin. I was constantly getting Latin roles, and I was like, I even was nominated for an award, and I was like, 'Let them know at the NAACP, the first white woman. Let them know I'm totally grateful, but I'm not Latin. I can't do that. I play Latin.'
— Vanessa Ferlito
I've had some pretty rough interviews. And it's funny when people are interviewing you, and they sort of don't really understand what you do, and they kind of insult you.
— Vanessa Bayer
My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we would joke about it, too.
I never did stand-up. If I've been funny ever, it was with other actors.
— Valerie Harper
People were stopping me on the street to say, 'Oh my God, it's Crazy Eyes!' Which is kind of a funny thing to have people shout at you on the street.
— Uzo Aduba
Well, life is dark, isn't it? Mostly, it's dreadful. At the same time, death is funny too. I mean, look at the fuss we make of it.
— Upamanyu Chatterjee
We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.
— W. H. Auden
I like children - fried.
There is nothing in the world that I loathe more than group activity, that communal bath where the hairy and slippery mix in a multiplication of mediocrity.
— Vladimir Nabokov
Unless someone wants to look funny, I'll not recommend anyone to copy my bowling action. But on a serious note, with the confidence that I have got from the amount of runs I have been scoring, when I'm thrown the ball to bowl, I am pretty sure of what I have to do. I may not be the most attractive to watch while bowling, but I can be effective.
— Virat Kohli
What is important to me as an actor is that, even if I have to spread my arms, take my shirt off on a mountain top with my heroine in a chiffon sari, it still has to be me and my twist or my funny take on it.
I don't see a lot of narratives written where a woman who looks like me gets to be beautiful and sexualized and upwardly mobile, middle-class, funny, quirky. They're very seldom written.
— Viola Davis
It's grueling never knowing if the audience is going to think you're funny. It's soul-destroying when they don't laugh.
— Vince Vaughn
Women are under-represented in TV comedy for a variety of reasons, the hackneyed 'fear that women aren't funny' being one of them.
— Victoria Coren Mitchell
Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.
— Victor Hugo
The funny thing is that I'm the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who's traveled with me. Normally, I'm in so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia!
— Vera Wang
It's funny because everyone says you sleep when baby sleeps or you take a nap when baby takes a nap. That's true when you have one. When you have two, that is not true.
— Vanessa Lachey
I am always drawn to men that are funny. I do not know why. But I am always drawn to people that are struggling with parts of themselves... But it's like in the end, there has to be confidence.
— Vanessa Carlton
I do think that the audience thinks it's funny when you break, but if you do it all the time, it loses something.
There are just so many funny kids and teenagers. They're just not aware of how funny they are.
I am not gonna say that a guy's looks make him have to try harder in any way. I don't believe that at all. I think if he is funny, smart and cool, he's all set. Looks are not very important to me.
— Valerie Azlynn
I try to play serious scenes a little funny and the comedy a little serious.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
— Unknown
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
— W. Clement Stone
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
I believe it is tough to be funny and tougher to make people laugh. And it needs to be been done effortlessly. A joke can be comedy, but one can kill the joke if it is delivered badly.
— Vivek Oberoi
Movies require a lot of patience. I like instant results. If I have done something that's not funny at all, the audience will let me know in two seconds. With the movie, I will have to wait nine months to know if I was that bad.
Alien Chutney is just what the name suggests it is. Its music that is so funny and quirky and weird that it feels entirely alien to the listener; yet, the content and the subject matter is so Indian and relatable, it's still chutney.
You want to be able to really tackle a character and make it a fully-dimensional human being who is complicated, funny, and all the things that a person could be. If you can achieve that, you feel great. You so rarely get to do that as an actress in general, but as a black actress, it's almost never.
The funny thing is, people's perceptions of what a song is about is usually wrong a majority of the time. But they're still going to read what they want to into it.
— Vince Gill
What's David's role? David looks good, that's what David does. David looks good, and I'm the funny one, that's what I hear constantly. But I keep telling him that looks fade.
— Victoria Beckham
It is funny what a year can do.
— Victor Cruz
I don't have a caustic sense of humor. What I find funny, that humor comes from a much gentler place.
— Vera Farmiga
This is going to sound really funny. I have a poster of Zac Efron on my wall! I think every girl has a poster of him in their room so, why not join the club!
— Vanessa Hudgens
There always have been funny women.
It's so funny: at 'SNL,' Bill Hader always kind of treated me like his little sister and would kind of, like, lovingly bully me.
My CIA colleagues were smart, dedicated, funny, and creative. Yes, there was sometimes stifling bureaucracy, boredom, colleagues who never should have been there, and later, deeply disturbing stories of the CIA's involvement in torture. Still, I got to do work I thought was incredibly important and, many times, had fun doing it.
— Valerie Plame
There is still a funny notion that women should not write violent fiction.
— Val McDermid
There's so much that we just accept, but the reasons behind how certain rules came to be are so fascinating and funny, it just increases your affection for language.
— Ursula Dubosarsky
